1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,006 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:16,534 Aah! 3 00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,759 ♪♪ 4 00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:35,887 Hey, kids! 5 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,639 Who do you love? 6 00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:40,350 - Krusty! - How much do you love me? 7 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,811 With all our hearts! 8 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:44,521 What would you do if I went off the air? 9 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,231 We'd kill ourselves! 10 00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:48,900 What's that, Sideshow Bob? 11 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,944 This is Brittany and today's her birthday? 12 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:53,488 Well, happy birthday, Brittany! 13 00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:54,989 How do you want to celebrate? 14 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,408 Do you want me to sing you a birthday song? 15 00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,911 Or do you want me to shoot 16 00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:02,413 Sideshow Bob out of a cannon? 17 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,499 The cannon. The cannon. 18 00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:07,919 - The cannon. The cannon. - The cannon. 19 00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:10,004 Sorry, Sideshow Bob, 20 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:12,465 but it's her special birthday wish! 21 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,926 You're doomed, Sideshow Bob. 22 00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:18,429 I know we haven't had much luck shooting you out of this cannon, 23 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:21,266 but maybe that's because we haven't used enough... 24 00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:24,144 gunpowder! 25 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,398 Brittany, do the honors. 26 00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:38,074 Don't blame me. 27 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,828 I didn't do it. 28 00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:44,539 Comedy, thy name is Krusty. 29 00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:49,169 Hey, kids, it's time for Itchy and Scratchy! 30 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:52,255 ♪ They fight, they bite They bite and fight and bite ♪ 31 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:54,465 ♪ Fight, fight, fight Bite, bite, bite ♪ 32 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:11,024 My! All this senseless violence. 33 00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:14,068 - I don't understand it's appeal. - We don't expect you to, Mom. 34 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:17,947 If cartoons were meant for adults, they'd put them on in prime time. 35 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,659 Y'ello. 36 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,786 Hello, Homie. I was hoping you could pick up... 37 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,664 a half-gallon of premium ice cream on your way home from work. 38 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:29,709 Ooh, premium... Wait a minute. Why? 39 00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:31,920 Patty and Selma are coming over to show us 40 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:33,671 slides from their trip to the Yucatán. 41 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,632 Doh! 42 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:38,176 - PATTY, SELMA: Anybody home? - Ooh, I've got to go, Homer. 43 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:41,471 My sisters are here. 44 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,181 Eight carousels! 45 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:46,059 We're in for a real treat. 46 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,021 Hello, steady customer. How are you this evening, sir? 47 00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,023 How ya doin', Apu? 48 00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:57,946 Chocolate. 49 00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,948 Ooh, double chocolate. 50 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:03,201 New flavor... triple chocolate! 51 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:06,704 Perhaps a little something for the trip back to the cash register. 52 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:10,541 What's the matter, sir? 53 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,378 Never have I seen you look so unhappy while purchasing 54 00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:15,380 such a large quantity of ice cream. 55 00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:18,216 The reason I look unhappy is that tonight... 56 00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:21,552 I have to see a slide show starring my wife's sisters. 57 00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,429 Or as I call 'em, the Gruesome Twosome. 58 00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:27,892 - My foot, you lousy, stupid, clumsy... - Sorry, pal. 59 00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:34,065 Hand over all your money in a paper bag. 60 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:36,651 Yes, yes. I know the procedure for armed robbery. 61 00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:39,112 I do work in a convenience store, you know. 62 00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:46,035 You can emerge now from my chips. 63 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,997 -The opportunity to prove yourself a hero is long gone. 64 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,667 This is our tour group. 65 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:57,213 This is a Mexican delicacy called a taco platter. Delicious. 66 00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:01,759 - This is Selma taking a siesta. - "Ay, caramba!" 67 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,304 And he had a big nose. 68 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:08,099 No, bigger. And big red hair that came out to... 69 00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:09,517 Yeah, yeah, like that! 70 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,645 Well, it is a simple, charcoal rendering, but, 71 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:15,857 - is this the man? - Yeah! Wait a minute. 72 00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:18,693 It's the guy from TV! 73 00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:22,822 My kid's hero, Cruddy, Crummy... Krusty the Clown! 74 00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:28,328 ♪♪ 75 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,637 Hey, hey, what's goin' on here? 76 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:49,182 Krusty the Clown, you're under arrest for armed robbery. 77 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,642 You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say... 78 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:55,021 - Blah, blah, blah, blah. - What is this, a joke? 79 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:59,442 -Ready, Mr. Simpson?- -Yes, sir. 80 00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:02,320 Send in the clowns. 81 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:07,241 So, Simpson, which one is it? 82 00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:14,707 Well, if the crime is making me laugh, they're all guilty! 83 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:18,836 - No, no! Which one is the robber? - Definitely number... 84 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,672 Simpson. 85 00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:23,299 - Simpson! - Four. 86 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,676 And this is all the mail 87 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:29,931 that waited us upon our return. And this is Selma... 88 00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:33,518 dropping off our vacation film to be developed. 89 00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:37,688 Thus concludes our Mexican odyssey. 90 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:40,983 Very thorough. 91 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,611 I'm home, everybody! 92 00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:46,006 - Goody gumdrops. - You missed the whole slide show, Homer. 93 00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:47,073 Fantastic. 94 00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:48,842 Marge, you're never gonna believe what happened. 95 00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:51,494 I was down at the Kwik-E-Mart minding my own business when... 96 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:52,745 Ooh, ooh, ooh, the news! 97 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:55,331 ♪♪ 98 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,458 Springfield's number one news team... 99 00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:01,003 with our Emmy Award-winning anchorman Kent Brockman, 100 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:04,298 Good evening, I'm Scott Christian. Kent Brockman is off tonight. 101 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:07,969 Why did the clown cross the road? To rob a Kwik-E-Mart. 102 00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:10,221 The news story behind that enigmatic half-joke 103 00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:12,473 right after this commercial message. 104 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,797 Wait a minute. Bart, you know that guy on your lunch box? 105 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:17,061 You mean Krusty the Clown? 106 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,331 - He's sort of a hero of yours, isn't he? - Are you kidding? 107 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:22,608 He's my idol. I've based my whole life on Krusty's teachings. 108 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:26,112 - Maybe you'd better run to bed. - Krusty the Clown is behind bars... 109 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,781 after a daring twilight robbery of a local Kwik-E-Mart. 110 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:32,994 - Krusty! - No! 111 00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:34,370 Earlier this evening, 112 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,746 the Springfield SWAT team 113 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:38,916 apprehended the TV clown, who appears on a rival station 114 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,127 opposite our own Emmy Award-winning Hobo Hank. 115 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:44,797 And just in, actual footage of the crime 116 00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,341 taken with the Kwik-E-Mart security camera. 117 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:50,887 The reason I look unhappy is that tonight I have to see 118 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,764 a slide show starring my wife's sisters. 119 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,368 Or as I call 'em, the Gruesome Twosome. 120 00:07:56,851 --> 00:08:00,271 - Homer. - So, the truth comes out. 121 00:08:00,354 --> 00:08:02,148 Hand over all your money 122 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:05,401 - in a paper bag. - Krusty, how could you? 123 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:08,946 I know it looks very bad, honey. Who knows, 124 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,324 maybe it'll turn out he was innocent all along. 125 00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:14,452 Earth to Marge. Earth to Marge. 126 00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:18,206 I was there. The clown is G-I-L-L-T-Y. 127 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,626 ♪♪ 128 00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:31,052 - You're my best friend. - Thanks, Krusty. 129 00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:34,764 Buy my cereal. 130 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:37,934 Buy my cereal. 131 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:40,645 I didn't do it! 132 00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:44,148 I wish I could believe you. 133 00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:51,864 ♪♪ 134 00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:57,620 Good evening, again, Springfield. Krusty the Clown, 135 00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,997 the beloved idol of countless tots, 136 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:02,959 now nothing more than a common, alleged criminal. 137 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:04,794 His trial, which begins tomorrow, 138 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,338 has taken center ring in a national media circus 139 00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:10,591 as children of all ages from eight to 80 140 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:14,554 hang on each new development like so many Romanian trapeze artists. 141 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,515 From his humble beginnings as a street mime in Tupelo, Mississippi, 142 00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:20,393 Krusty clowned his way to the top of a personal mini-empire 143 00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:24,230 with dozens of endorsements, including his own line of pork products. 144 00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:26,750 This may have led to one of television's best-loved bloopers... 145 00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:30,570 Krusty's near-fatal, on-the-air heart attack in 1986. 146 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,947 Wasn't that a great Itchy 147 00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:34,365 and Scratchy cartoon, kids? 148 00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:37,201 Well, we've got another one coming right up. 149 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,370 But first, I've got a hankerin' 150 00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:41,664 for some pork products. 151 00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:44,333 Look. 152 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:49,839 Plump succulent sausage, honey-smoked bacon and glistening, sizzling... 153 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,431 I'm dying. I'm dying. 154 00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:00,808 But a quick triple bypass 155 00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:03,561 and a pacemaker later, Krusty bounced back. 156 00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:06,230 However, he was a changed clown. 157 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:09,400 Where his show had been condemned by parents and educators alike 158 00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:11,902 as simpleminded TV mayhem, 159 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,572 this new Krusty devoted a small portion of every show 160 00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:18,284 to stamping out illiteracy in today's anything-for-a-thrill youth. 161 00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:20,411 Give a hoot. Read a book. 162 00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:22,163 Krusty's arrest has sent shock waves 163 00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:23,807 through Springfield, packing its churches, 164 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:25,708 synagogues and mosques 165 00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:28,127 with disillusioned citizenry from all walks of life. 166 00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:31,797 I urge every halfway decent member of our community 167 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:35,384 to gather up all merchandise that bears the likeness of Krusty, 168 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,637 that clown prince of corruption, 169 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,640 and join me in a public burning! 170 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:44,018 So, is Krusty the Clown about to trade in his baggy pants 171 00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:46,896 for the relatively snug uniform of Springfield Penitentiary? 172 00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:49,982 We'll find out tomorrow when his trial begins. 173 00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:57,633 - What kind of gun did you use? - Did you use an accomplice? 174 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,575 Will you plead insanity? 175 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,203 Look at him. His clothes are so drab. 176 00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:04,997 His face is so flesh-colored and sad. 177 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:08,417 And his feet, they're so small. 178 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:11,420 Say it ain't so, Krusty. 179 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,298 My client has no comment at this time. 180 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:17,343 I didn't do it. 181 00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:23,474 - Krusty the Clown, how do you plead? - I plead guilty, Your Honor. 182 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,691 I mean, not guilty. Opening night jitters, Your Honor. 183 00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:35,903 I would like to call to the stand, Homer J. Simpson. 184 00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:38,030 Don't do it, Dad. Please don't do it. 185 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,741 Sorry, son. You'll understand one day. 186 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:43,220 He's innocent, I tell you. Krusty would never do something like that. 187 00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,162 Come on, Dad. You got to listen to me. 188 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:50,876 Sorry, pal. 189 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,671 Doh! 190 00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,754 Mr. Simpson, was that you taking that cowardly dive 191 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,134 into that display of heavily-salted snack treats? 192 00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,552 Yes, sir. 193 00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:02,388 Do you recognize the gunman in this courtroom today? 194 00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:05,433 - Yes, I do. - Fine. Would you point him out to us? 195 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:08,144 Okay. 196 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,480 ♪♪ 197 00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:19,029 Aaah! 198 00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:20,448 Man. 199 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:24,076 -Let the record show that the witness... eventually... 200 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:27,163 pointed to... Krusty the Clown. 201 00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:33,169 These toys are just adorable. 202 00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:38,132 Who'd have guessed they were inspired by an insane criminal genius. 203 00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:43,971 But, Dad, you're giving in to mob mentality. 204 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:46,807 No, I'm not! I'm hopping on the bandwagon. 205 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:49,268 Now, come on, son. Get with the winning team. 206 00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:54,482 Hey, right here! Krusty souvenirs! Buy 'em and burn 'em! 207 00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:58,819 Good people, I'm so happy you're all here tonight. 208 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,946 But please, just a few words of caution. 209 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:04,909 Now, we are going to set this pile of evil ablaze, 210 00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:08,370 but because these are children's toys, the fire will spread quickly. 211 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:13,334 So, please stand back, and try not to inhale the toxic fumes. 212 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,715 Ooh! 213 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:26,180 Krusty, would you please turn your attention to Exhibit B. 214 00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,516 Tell me what you see. 215 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:32,603 Which one do you mean? 216 00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:34,980 The one with the big "B" on it. 217 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,274 What's the matter? Can't you read? 218 00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:41,028 No, I can't! I can't read or write! I admit it! 219 00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:44,573 I'm totally illiterate. Now are you happy? 220 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:48,410 Can it be that the champion of child literacy can't even read himself? 221 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,454 Is it a crime to be illiterate? 222 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:53,916 All right, all right. See this, Krusty? This is a B. 223 00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:55,918 And this is Exhibit B. 224 00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:59,171 Betting slips... obtained by this court indicating you have lost 225 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:02,341 substantial sums of money on sports gambling. 226 00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,844 Is it a crime to bet on sporting events? 227 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,595 Yes, it is! 228 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:13,853 - Foreperson, have you reached a verdict? - Yes, we have, Your Honor. 229 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:16,856 We find the defendant, Krusty the Clown... 230 00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:20,734 guilty. 231 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:24,697 Aah! I knew it! This happens to me every time. 232 00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:26,949 ♪♪ 233 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:32,621 My young friends, for years I have been silent 234 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:35,875 save for the crude glissandos of this primitive wind instrument. 235 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:39,003 But now, destiny has thrust me into the center ring. 236 00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:42,882 In the coming weeks, you will notice some rather sweeping changes in our program. 237 00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,884 Please do not be alarmed. 238 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:48,053 Itchy and Scratchy will still have a home here. 239 00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:51,348 But we will also learn about nutrition, self-esteem, etiquette 240 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:54,852 - and all the lively arts. - What the hell are you doing, Lis? 241 00:14:54,935 --> 00:14:59,356 I'm watching Sideshow Bob. He's a lot less patronizing than Krusty used to be. 242 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,818 - You backstabber, you traitor, you... - Snap out of it, Bart! 243 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:06,071 Face the facts. All those hours we spent staring at Krusty, 244 00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,865 we were staring at a crook. 245 00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,367 Look, Lisa. I know Krusty's innocent. 246 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:12,745 Don't ask me why. It's just a feeling I have. 247 00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,039 - Bart. - Come on, Lisa. 248 00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:17,917 I think I can prove Krusty's innocent, but I need your help. 249 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,378 - You do? Why? - Come on, Lis. You know why. 250 00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,839 - No, why? - I'll never forgive you 251 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,883 for making me say this. 252 00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:28,677 You're smarter than me. 253 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,971 - So, you with me? - Yeah, man. 254 00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:36,685 Okay, okay. 255 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,063 Don't try anything funny. I'm armed to the teeth. 256 00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:45,819 Bart, look, over here on the microwave. 257 00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,905 So, I don't have a pacemaker. 258 00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:51,700 Come on, Bart. The tape showed that the robber heated up a burrito. 259 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:52,952 - So? - Don't you remember 260 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,079 the get-well card we sent to Krusty? 261 00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:57,081 It was after his heart attack 262 00:15:57,164 --> 00:16:00,167 - when he had a pacemaker put in. - Aha! 263 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,755 Wait a minute. Krusty can't read. 264 00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:08,008 Okay! Okay! So the poor guy can't read. Can't we get off his back, already? 265 00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:10,302 No! Don't you get it, Bart? 266 00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:14,223 How could Krusty have been reading a magazine if he can't read? 267 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:17,476 Hey, hey. This is not a lending library! 268 00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:20,497 If you're not going to buy that thing, put it down, or I'll blow your heads off! 269 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,065 Bart, I'm starting to think you're right. Krusty was framed! 270 00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:25,734 - Did he have any enemies? - I don't know. 271 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,444 But I know someone who would... 272 00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:29,947 Krusty's best friend in the whole world, Sideshow Bob! 273 00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:34,118 "A volley of musketry flamed, thundered, roared. 274 00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:36,620 "A profound silence followed, 275 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,872 "broken only by the approaching footsteps... 276 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:41,792 of the Third Brigade." 277 00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:43,627 Next week, chapter 35 278 00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,964 of The Man in the Iron Mask: "The Death of a Titan." 279 00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:48,757 ♪♪ 280 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,510 Well, kids, that's our show for today. 281 00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:54,680 And now, in the words of Mr. Cole Porter. 282 00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:58,809 ♪ Every time we say good-bye ♪ 283 00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:01,020 ♪ I die a little ♪ 284 00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:04,857 ♪ Every time we say good-bye ♪ 285 00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:07,568 ♪ I wonder why a little ♪ 286 00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:10,612 ♪ Every time we say ♪ 287 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:14,324 ♪ Good-bye ♪ Good-bye. 288 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:19,288 Great show, Sideshow. Switchboards were jammed. The kids loved it. 289 00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,498 Thanks, Ed. I'm glad we've finally dispelled the myth 290 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:24,251 that I'm too uptown for the tots. 291 00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:27,129 And yet, I can't help thinking about poor Krusty. 292 00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:44,664 - We see your face on key chains. - And water-action pens. 293 00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:46,899 - And snow domes. - This is all very exciting, 294 00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:49,985 but I think we'd do well to explore the more upscale market. 295 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:54,031 For instance, Sideshow Bob limited-edition prints, collector's plates, 296 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:57,076 commemorative coins. 297 00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,536 Some kids are here to see you, Sideshow Bob. 298 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:00,704 They say it's important. 299 00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:03,123 Well, we can sign these contracts tomorrow. 300 00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:06,877 Certainly. I take great pride in being able to sign my own name. 301 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,880 That's a good one. I gotta tell the wife. 302 00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:11,941 - Hi, Sideshow Bob. - Sideshow Bob, can we ask you a few... 303 00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:13,050 Forgive me, chilfren. 304 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:14,694 As much as Sideshow Bob would love to chat, 305 00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:15,945 he has a show starting in moments. 306 00:18:15,969 --> 00:18:17,888 Here you go... three tickets. Be my guests. 307 00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,307 - Okay. But... - Come, come. Let's run along. 308 00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:24,978 ♪♪ 309 00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,564 Hello, children. 310 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:31,401 - Whom do you love? - Sideshow Bob! 311 00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,403 Come on, Bart. Go with the flow. 312 00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:37,241 - How much do you love me? - With all our hearts! 313 00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:39,785 About a zillionth as much as I love Krusty. 314 00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:43,080 Today's show promises to be a marvelous celebration of the human spirit. 315 00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:46,083 But first, I regret to say I see a youngster who looks troubled. 316 00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:49,336 - What's your name, young man? - Bart Simpson, sir. 317 00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,964 Well, perhaps we can shed some light 318 00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:55,467 on your problem in a new segment exploring preadolescent turmoil. 319 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:58,595 - I call it "Choices." - I don't think so, sir. 320 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:01,640 Bart, I'm reaching out to you. 321 00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:06,311 So, what's on your mind, Bart? 322 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,623 - I bet the other children don't accept you. - True, Sideshow Bob. 323 00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:11,108 But that doesn't bother me. You see, my sisters and I 324 00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:13,277 have been doing a little investigating, 325 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,612 and it looks to us like Krusty was framed. 326 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:18,615 - Framed? - Well, the videotape showed 327 00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,993 that the thief used the microwave oven at the Kwik-E-Mart. 328 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:24,329 But Krusty couldn't go near the thing, not with his pacemaker. 329 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,666 Well, you know, Bart. As much as I love Krusty, 330 00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:30,294 he was never one to take doctor's orders too seriously. 331 00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:33,422 Well, maybe, but get this. 332 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,665 Krusty was illiterate, and the guy who robbed the store 333 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,676 was reading "The Springfield Review of Books." 334 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:39,803 Well, Bart. 335 00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:41,781 The fact is, you don't have to be able to read to enjoy 336 00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:43,807 "The Springfield Review of Books." 337 00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:46,727 Just look at these amusing caricatures of Gore Vidal and Susan Sontag. 338 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:50,272 Yeah, I guess those are kind of funny. 339 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:54,401 Bart, children, this whole sordid affair has been a shock to all of us. 340 00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:56,820 But we must get on with our lives. 341 00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,907 Let's try to remember Krusty, not as a hardened criminal, 342 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,533 but as that lovable jester who honked 343 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,619 his horn and puttered around in his little car. 344 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,705 - And shot you out of a cannon. - And shot me out of a cannon. 345 00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:08,957 Yes, we will never forget that, will we? 346 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:13,128 Bart, open you heart. I admit I have some mighty big shoes to fill. 347 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:16,381 Big shoes to fill. 348 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:20,552 Big shoes to fill. Big shoes to fill. 349 00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:23,764 Big shoes to fill. Big shoes to fill. 350 00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:26,391 Big shoes to fill... 351 00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,704 In ancient Greece, there was a school of thought called stoicism. 352 00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:32,689 Wait a minute! You did it! 353 00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:35,692 - Excuse me? - Attention, fellow children! 354 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:38,237 Krusty didn't rob that store! Sideshow Bob framed him, 355 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,697 and I got proof! 356 00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:43,200 My foot! You lousy, stupid, clumsy... 357 00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:46,870 See that? Krusty wore big floppy shoes, 358 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:49,414 but he's got little feet like all good-hearted people! 359 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:52,125 Sideshow Bob really fills his shoes 360 00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:55,420 with big ugly feet. 361 00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:57,673 - Kid's right. - How do you figure we missed that? 362 00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:00,509 Get off your duffs, boys. Get down to that studio! 363 00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:04,513 Yes, I admit it. I hated him! 364 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:08,058 His hackneyed shenanigans robbed me of my dignity for years. 365 00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:11,853 I played the buffoon while he squandered a fortune on his vulgar appetites. 366 00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,356 That's why I framed Krusty! 367 00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:17,543 And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for these meddling kids. 368 00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:18,860 Take him away, boys. 369 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,530 Treat kids as equals! 370 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:24,366 They're people too! They're smarter than you think. 371 00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:27,160 They were smart enough to catch me! 372 00:21:32,582 --> 00:21:34,626 Well, we... made... 373 00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:37,045 a terrible, terrible mistake. 374 00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:39,423 It won't happen again. 375 00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:41,925 - It better not, you dimwit! - Krusty, 376 00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:45,887 I'm man enough to admit I was wrong, and I'm sorry I fingered you in court. 377 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:48,140 I sincerely hope that the horrible stories I heard 378 00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:50,517 about what goes on in prison are exaggerated. 379 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,937 Well, the important thing is that I regain the trust of the children. 380 00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:57,607 But there was one boy who trusted me all along. Bart? 381 00:21:57,691 --> 00:21:59,901 - Yes, sir? - Thank you. 382 00:22:17,544 --> 00:22:19,963 ♪♪ 383 00:23:02,255 --> 00:23:04,216 Shh.