1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,006 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:16,534 Aah! 3 00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,135 ♪♪ 4 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,387 ♪♪ 5 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,389 So, how was the office birthday party? 6 00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:40,391 - It was delightful. - Ooh. 7 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:43,770 The frosting on the cake was this thick. 8 00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:46,898 And Eugene Fisk... my poor sucker of an assistant... 9 00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:48,775 Didn't know the fruit punch was spiked 10 00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:50,944 and he really made an ass of himself 11 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:53,005 putting the moves on the new girl in Valve Maintenance. 12 00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:55,615 Does this girl like him? 13 00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:57,575 I have to warn you, Marge, 14 00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,495 I think the poor young thing has the hots for yours truly. 15 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:01,704 Homer. 16 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,581 Just keeping you on your toes, babe. 17 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:09,087 Two hundred and thirty nine pounds! I'm a blimp. 18 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:12,215 Why are all the good things so tasty? 19 00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:14,884 From now on, exercise every morning. 20 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,264 You're not a blimp, Homer. 21 00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:22,308 You're my big cuddly teddy bear. 22 00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:28,231 Nah, baloney. Yeah, right. 23 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,400 Give me a break. 24 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,819 Wow, cool, man! 25 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,671 No! 26 00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:54,132 Two hundred and thirty nine pounds? 27 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:56,176 I'm a whale. 28 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:59,846 Why was I cursed with this weakness for snack treats? 29 00:02:59,929 --> 00:03:03,766 Well, from now on, exercise every morning, Homer. 30 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,438 Don't strain yourself, dear. 31 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,689 Good idea, Marge. 32 00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:12,066 By the way, this Friday night 33 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,790 I'm gonna be attending a little get together with the boys at work. 34 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,238 Eugene Fisk is marrying some girl in Valve Maintenance. 35 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,491 Homer, is this some kind of stag party? 36 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:23,953 No, no, Marge. It's gonna be very classy. 37 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,289 A tea-and-crumpet kind of thing. 38 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,291 Eugene Fisk. Isn't he your assistant? 39 00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,543 No! My supervisor. 40 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,253 Didn't he used to be your assistant? 41 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,422 Hey, what is this, the Spanish exposition? 42 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:35,715 Sorry, Homer. 43 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,927 It's the "fe-mailman." 44 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,221 Female carrier, Bart. 45 00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,973 Lady, where's my spy camera? 46 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,035 - "Where's my spy camera?" - Where's my spy camera? 47 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,102 Every day for the last six months. 48 00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:50,480 - Where's my spy camera? - Where's my spy camera? 49 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,483 - Where's my spy camera? - Where's my spy camera? 50 00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:54,609 Here's your stupid spy camera! 51 00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:56,945 Thanks, ma'am. 52 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,449 Whoa, man. 53 00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:03,368 Look at the size of this thing. 54 00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:05,370 I wonder if it really works. 55 00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:10,291 'Cause I got a lot of spying to do. 56 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:19,467 Bart! What are you doing? 57 00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:21,511 Sorry, Dad. The answer to that is top secret. 58 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,309 Ooh! 59 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,311 - Bart. - What? 60 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,689 Go take some wildlife pictures or something. 61 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,149 Ha. 62 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,737 Ew, gross. 63 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,907 Mom, Bart was taking a picture of his butt. 64 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:46,119 Sure. Like I'm really gonna take a picture of my butt. 65 00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:49,038 Stop it, you two. And put on some nice clothes. 66 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,040 Since it's just the four of us tonight, 67 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,685 we're having dinner at The Rusty Barnacle. 68 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,585 Yay, fried shrimp! 69 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:57,714 Aw, Mom. Can't we just grab a burger at... 70 00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,882 Only four of us? Who escaped? 71 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,427 Your father. He's having a boys' night out. 72 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,929 Just as I was asking myself, 73 00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:08,599 "Where did my seven-year-old boy get the money... 74 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,852 for a Father's Day present?" 75 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:13,271 I opened the box. 76 00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:17,608 And inside was little Eugene's baseball glove. 77 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,445 He had given me the one thing 78 00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:22,447 that mattered most to him in the whole world. 79 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,449 Eugene, when I see you... 80 00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:26,802 The one thing that matters most to me in the whole world... 81 00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,494 Married tomorrow, 82 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:31,122 I'm going to know just how you felt that day. 83 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:34,500 - I love you, Dad. - I love you, son. 84 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:37,545 Where am I, the planet Cornball? 85 00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,189 Hey, don't worry. Things are gonna pick up 86 00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:40,631 once the entertainment gets here. 87 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:44,344 - Ooh, entertainment. - Yes, sir. 88 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:53,019 Ahoy! I spy the children's menu. 89 00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,480 - Ahoy, this place bites. - Bart. 90 00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,774 So, what's it gonna be, me little bucko? 91 00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:00,068 Let's see. 92 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,779 This evening I shall go for the... 93 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,323 -squid platter, -Ew. 94 00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:07,408 With extra tentacles, please. 95 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,577 Bart. Excuse me, sir. 96 00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:12,914 The party next door seems to be a little raucous. 97 00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:15,708 Could you please ask them to quiet down a little bit, please? 98 00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,210 Aye, aye. 99 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:27,970 Hey, try to keep it down, guys. 100 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,264 - Okay? - Hey, shut up. 101 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:33,101 ♪ Open the door and lie on the floor said Barnacle Bill the sailor ♪ 102 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,525 Here you go. 103 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:43,361 There you are. For the baby. 104 00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:46,948 And one squid platter, extra tentacles. 105 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:51,136 Bart, quit fooling around and eat your dinner. 106 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,121 Yeah, eat it, Bart. 107 00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:55,581 May I please be excused for a minute? 108 00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,041 Okay, but don't dawdle. 109 00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:59,710 Your food will get cold. 110 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,921 Okay, Eugene. 111 00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:04,715 One last taste of bachelor freedom. 112 00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:11,431 Presenting Princess Kashmir, 113 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:14,767 queen of the mysterious East. 114 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:25,319 Now this is what I call a party. 115 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:28,656 How do I tell you this, my boy? We're in hell. 116 00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:32,160 Look at him squirm. 117 00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:35,246 - You care to dance? - She wants you, Homer. 118 00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:38,082 Go for it, Homer! 119 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:44,922 Shake his buns. 120 00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:52,013 I'm sorry. I don't usually laugh like this. 121 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:57,018 Ai, caramba. Wow, man. 122 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:03,149 This is the most fun I've ever had in my life. 123 00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:13,034 The meeting of The Future Photographers of America is now in session. 124 00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:16,287 We would like to welcome our new member, Bart Simpson. 125 00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:17,830 Whoa. People, people. 126 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:19,874 Don't applaud. Let's get to work. 127 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:27,507 My goodness. Quite exciting. 128 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,133 Extremely sensual. 129 00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:30,777 The subtle gray tones recall the work of Helmut Newton. 130 00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,720 Who's the sexy lady, Bart? 131 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:35,431 Beats me. But the guy dancing with her is my pop. 132 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,308 - Wow! - He brings to mind 133 00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:38,494 the later work of Diane Arbus. 134 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,437 Bart, I'd really appreciate a print of your masterwork. 135 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,563 - Me too. - Yeah, come on. 136 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,440 Sorry, guys. No can do. 137 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,442 Aw. 138 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,195 Come on, Bart. You're gonna make me a print, aren't you? 139 00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:51,280 Will you swear not to let another living soul 140 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,532 get a copy of this photo? 141 00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:54,134 - Okay. - Cross your heart and hope to die? 142 00:08:54,158 --> 00:08:55,385 - Yep. - Stick a needle in your eye? 143 00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:56,762 - Yep. - Jam a dagger in your thigh? 144 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,329 - Yep. - Eat a horse manure pie? 145 00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:01,249 - Yep. - Well, okay. 146 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:02,917 Pst. Look what I got. 147 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,669 Whoa. I gotta have a copy of that. 148 00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:06,671 - Sorry. - Aw, come on. 149 00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:07,797 Well, okay. 150 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:15,012 Hey, Bart. How come Milhouse gets a copy 151 00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,556 of your girlie picture and I don't? 152 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,140 I thought I was your friend too. 153 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,600 Well, okay. 154 00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:43,332 Son, why are you wasting your time with this sleazy trash? 155 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,918 Sorry, Dad. 156 00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:49,463 Wait till I show the guys at work this little doozy. 157 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,926 Mike, this is Al. 158 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:57,930 Just wanted to thank you for the "informative memo" you faxed me. 159 00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,932 Whoops. Here comes the boss. Gotta go. 160 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:03,102 Reverend Lovejoy, your wife confiscated this 161 00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:05,396 from one of the boys in the choir. 162 00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,940 Why this sheep has strayed from my own flock. His name's... 163 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,735 Homer Simpson, sir, a low-level employee... 164 00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:12,945 - in sector 7-G. - Simpson? 165 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,156 - A family man? - Wife and three kids, sir. 166 00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:17,700 I'd like to see our self-styled Valentino 167 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,744 tomorrow morning, Smithers. 168 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:26,417 What are we laughing at? 169 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:35,384 One glazed and one Scratch-'N-Win, please. 170 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,012 You look familiar, sir. Are you on the television or something? 171 00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:40,514 Sorry, buddy. You got me confused with Fred Flintstone. 172 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:43,934 Liberty Bell. 173 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:46,145 Another Liberty Bell! 174 00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:48,147 One more and I'm a millionaire. 175 00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:51,150 Come on, Liberty Bell, please, please, please. 176 00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:53,903 D' That purple fruit thing. 177 00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,196 Where were you yesterday? 178 00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:56,781 Hey, hey. Looking good. 179 00:10:56,864 --> 00:11:00,034 - What do you want, pal? - Hey mister. 180 00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:02,370 ♪ Do, do, do, do, do ♪ 181 00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:04,121 ♪ Do dee do dee do ♪ 182 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,791 Well a "do dee do dee do" to you too, pint size. 183 00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:09,126 Jeez, you get a lot of nutcases in here. 184 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,754 Sir, I've seen things you can't imagine. 185 00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:15,132 - Hey, hey, hey. - I hear you, buddy. 186 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,176 Full moon. 187 00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,639 Still got it. 188 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,108 What is the meaning of this? 189 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,778 Meaningless, Marge. 190 00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,530 Don't even attempt to find meaning in it. 191 00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:39,573 There's nothing between me and Princess Kashmir. 192 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,992 - Princess who? - Hey, my photo. 193 00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:43,661 Your photo? 194 00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,705 - Why you little... - Why you big... 195 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,665 - Bart, go to your room. - I'm out of here. 196 00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:50,793 - Look, Marge, honey, baby, doll, I... - Homer, 197 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,754 I don't even want to look at you right now. 198 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:55,798 What are you saying, honey? 199 00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:58,217 - But where will I sleep? - My suggestion 200 00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,553 is for you to sleep in the filth you created. 201 00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:02,722 Would a motel be okay? 202 00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:14,233 I knew you'd come to your... 203 00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:18,529 Here. If you have any soul left, you'll need these. 204 00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:20,781 I know I will. 205 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,379 What's the matter, Homer? 206 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:36,964 Hottest ladies' night in months 207 00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:38,525 and you're not even checking out the action. 208 00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,760 Moe. My wife gave me 209 00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:43,971 the old heave ho because of some lousy picture. 210 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,639 - What, this one? - D' 211 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,892 So, where are you staying tonight, Homer? 212 00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:49,602 Motel, I guess. 213 00:12:49,685 --> 00:12:51,854 No. No pal of mine 214 00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:55,232 is gonna stay in some dingy flophouse. 215 00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,987 If you get hungry in the middle of the night, 216 00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:02,656 there's an open beer in the fridge. 217 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:06,285 Look, Barney. See the row of tiny lights up there? 218 00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:08,788 The middle one is my house. 219 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,790 Someone must have left the porch light on. 220 00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,792 Hey that's rough, pal. 221 00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,837 Hello, Marge. 222 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:19,006 - You left your damn porch light on. - Barney! 223 00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:21,342 Homer's not made of money, you know. 224 00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,111 - Who is this? - Don't listen to him, Marge. He's... 225 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,554 Oh, it's you. 226 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:28,307 Homer, you're overwrought. 227 00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:30,392 Why don't you unwind a little bit? 228 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,478 Party down the hall. 229 00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:34,480 You know, this apartment complex caters 230 00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:37,733 to upscale young singles like me. 231 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,820 No, Barn. I just want to crawl into bed. 232 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,614 Suit yourself, Homer. Nighty-night. 233 00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,794 I wonder when Dad's coming home. 234 00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,850 Homer Simpson. 235 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,060 Homer Simpson. Report at once to Mr. Burns' office. 236 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:15,354 No. 237 00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:17,189 What in blue blazes 238 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,774 do you think you're doing, Simpson? 239 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,110 - What do you mean, sir? - I mean this. 240 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,320 A plant employee carrying on 241 00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:26,532 like an oversexed orangutan in heat. 242 00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:29,577 This is a family nuclear power plant, Simpson. 243 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,860 Our research indicates that over 50 percent of our power 244 00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,831 is used by women. 245 00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:36,083 I will not have you offending my customers 246 00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:37,418 with your bawdy shenanigans. 247 00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:39,336 It won't happen again, sir. I promise. 248 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:40,880 May I get out of your sight now? 249 00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:42,298 Just a second, Simpson. 250 00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,300 Smithers, would you leave the room for a minute? 251 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,343 Yes, sir. 252 00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:53,142 Simpson, I am by most measures a successful man. 253 00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:58,522 I have wealth and power beyond the dreams of you and your clock-punching ilk. 254 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:01,150 And yet, I've led a solitary life. 255 00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:04,069 The fair sex remains a mystery to me. 256 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:06,572 You seem to have a way with women, a certain... 257 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:08,741 How shall I put it... 258 00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,743 Animal magnetisme. 259 00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:12,578 Help me, Simpson. 260 00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:14,663 Tell me your secret. 261 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,166 Mr. Burns, in spite of what everybody thinks, 262 00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,335 I'm no lover boy. 263 00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,587 Simpson, I'm asking you nicely. 264 00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,422 - I don't really know, sir. - Simpson! 265 00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:25,257 Well, I wine them, I... 266 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:27,301 dine them, bring them flowers, 267 00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:29,303 write them love poetry, sir. 268 00:15:29,386 --> 00:15:31,305 Of course. 269 00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:34,266 It's simplicity itself. 270 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,435 I won't forget this, Simpson. 271 00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:40,856 Now return to your work and tell no one of what transpired here. 272 00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:48,906 - Anybody home? - Hi, Daddy. 273 00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:50,908 Welcome back, Dad. 274 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:52,743 How's your mom? 275 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,787 Still kind of ticked off. 276 00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:56,789 Yeah, good luck, man. 277 00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:59,249 Thanks boy. 278 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,794 Hello, Marge. 279 00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:03,963 It's me, Homer. 280 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:06,298 Are you still mad? 281 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:09,802 You are still mad. Don't need to say it. 282 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:12,304 I'm your loving husband. I can read you like a book. 283 00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,306 I'll just have some milk. 284 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:17,017 Look, I'm not drinking out of the carton. 285 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,356 Come on, Marge! Please forgive me. 286 00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:26,068 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 287 00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:29,196 Homer, you don't even know why you're apologizing. 288 00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:31,824 Yes, I do. Because I'm hungry, 289 00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:34,493 my clothes are smelly, and I'm tired. 290 00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:36,495 I've been thinking, Homer, 291 00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:38,998 and you know what bothers me the most about this whole thing? 292 00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:41,333 You taught Bart a very bad lesson. 293 00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:43,335 Your boy idolizes you. 294 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,796 - He does not. - Yes, he does, Homer. 295 00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:48,340 And when he sees you treating women as objects, 296 00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,342 he's going to think that it's okay. 297 00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:52,344 You owe your son better than that, Homer. 298 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:54,263 So what should I do, Marge? 299 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:57,349 Well, I think you should take Bart 300 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,893 to meet this exotic belly-person. 301 00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:02,646 I want him to see that she's a real human being 302 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,315 with real thoughts and real feelings. 303 00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,359 I want Bart to see you apologize 304 00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:08,652 for the way you treated her. 305 00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:11,447 Okay. Your wish is my command, my little... 306 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,490 Do it! 307 00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:22,499 Princess Kashmir? You must mean April Flower. 308 00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:23,768 She's working over at the Girlesque. 309 00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:24,835 Ooh. 310 00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,676 See, I'm trying to teach my son here 311 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,136 about treating women as objects. 312 00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:35,846 That's a good idea. 313 00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:37,489 But April's over at Foxy Boxing tonight. 314 00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,475 Just let me say that it is an honor 315 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,536 to have Springfield's number-one swinger here with us to... 316 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,562 Forget that. 317 00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:46,148 I'm teaching my boy a lesson. Is she here or not? 318 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,442 Try Mud City. 319 00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,986 Marge? Marge? 320 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,323 We're gonna try one more place, the Sapphire Lounge. 321 00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,325 Bart! I said look at the floor. 322 00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:04,208 There she is. Hey, Princess! 323 00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,085 It's me, the guy from the snapshot. 324 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,128 Hi. 325 00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:10,297 - Places, ladies, places. - Ooh. 326 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:12,800 Can I get just a little cooperation? It's show time. 327 00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:14,885 Look. I'm here because I want to apologize 328 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,512 for treating you like an object. 329 00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:18,305 I also want my boy 330 00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:20,974 to find out that you're more than just a belly. 331 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,160 I want him to meet the woman behind 332 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:23,602 all the spangles and glitter 333 00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:26,355 and find out that she has thoughts and feelings too. 334 00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,607 Well, okay. But can we make it quick? 335 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:30,400 Nice to meet you, ma'am. 336 00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,444 Could you tell him a little about yourself? 337 00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,822 Well, my real name is Shawna Tifton. 338 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,949 My pet peeve is rude people. 339 00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:39,952 And my turn-ons include silk sheets 340 00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:41,971 - and a warm fireplace. - Thank you very much, ma'am. 341 00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:43,956 We'll be on our... 342 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:50,462 ♪ They can love their wives ooh ♪ 343 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:53,298 ♪ But I think that's just foolish ♪ 344 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,300 ♪ Men must have hearts ♪ 345 00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:57,386 ♪ Made of stone ♪ 346 00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:59,346 ♪ Now my heart is made ♪ 347 00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:01,390 - Cool, man. - ♪ Of softer stuff ♪ 348 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,684 Get out of my cage. 349 00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:06,311 - My boss will freak out. - No. 350 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:07,831 ♪ A pretty girl can't look my way without... ♪ 351 00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:09,690 Don't. Don't! 352 00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:11,733 - Don't. No. - Get out. Get out of here. 353 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,318 Get your hands off. 354 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:16,488 ♪ A new romance ♪ 355 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,824 ♪ I could love a million girls ♪ 356 00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:20,993 ♪ And every girl a twin ♪ 357 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:23,662 ♪ I could love a Chinese girl an Eskimo or... ♪ 358 00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:35,340 Get off of my stage, fat boy. 359 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:36,784 Hey, it's the guy from the picture. 360 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,055 Homer Simpson! 361 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:43,849 Sorry, partner. 362 00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:46,059 I didn't recognize you at first. 363 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,145 Ladies and gentlemen, it's an honor 364 00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:51,190 to have a real swinging cat with us tonight. 365 00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,775 Homer Simpson, party guy. 366 00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:58,322 Mr. Maestro. 367 00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:02,492 ♪ I could love a million girls ♪ 368 00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,995 ♪ And every girl a twin ♪ 369 00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:06,997 ♪ Yeah I could love a Chinese girl ♪ 370 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,124 ♪ An Eskimo or Finn ♪ 371 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:13,003 ♪ I could dig a Deutschland chick a girl with golden curls ♪ 372 00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:16,006 ♪ In fact I think that we could love... ♪ 373 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:21,511 ♪ About a million girls ♪ 374 00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:23,847 Heh. Hey. 375 00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,099 Ooh. Look out. 376 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:28,310 Yeah. 377 00:20:29,978 --> 00:20:31,396 How does he do it, Smithers? 378 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:32,856 He's a love machine, sir. 379 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:35,025 ♪ Da, da, da ♪ 380 00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:36,860 Way to go, Dad. 381 00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:43,158 Wait a minute. 382 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:47,162 Wait a minute. Stop the music. 383 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,330 Quiet, please. 384 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:51,250 I have something to say. Quiet. 385 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:52,960 You with the hair, down in front. 386 00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:56,380 No. He's sunk even lower. 387 00:20:56,463 --> 00:20:59,383 I have something to say to all the sons out there. 388 00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:02,302 To all the boys, to all the men, to all of us. 389 00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:04,304 It's about women, 390 00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:06,515 and how they are not mere objects 391 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,517 with curves that make us crazy. 392 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,144 No, they are our wives, 393 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,272 they are our daughters, our sisters, 394 00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:16,358 our grandmas, our aunts, our nieces and nephews. 395 00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:19,027 Well, not our nephews. 396 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,988 They are our mothers. 397 00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:22,173 And you know something, folks? 398 00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:24,825 As ridiculous as this sounds, 399 00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:27,911 I would rather feel the sweet breath of my beautiful wife 400 00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:30,747 on the back of my neck as I sleep 401 00:21:30,831 --> 00:21:34,251 than to stuff dollar bills into some stranger's G-string. 402 00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:39,965 Am I wrong? Or am I right? 403 00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:42,217 My wife gets the cutest little thing, 404 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,803 right here, when she smiles. 405 00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:48,140 - This is my Suzie. - So cute. 406 00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:50,183 Here's mine. 407 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:52,853 You know, my mom sounded a little down the other day. 408 00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:54,855 I'd better give her a call. 409 00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:56,815 - Homer. - Marge. 410 00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:05,407 All right, folks. Show's over. 411 00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:07,617 No more to see, folks. Come on. 412 00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:10,495 Only sick people want to see my folks kiss. 413 00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:14,708 ♪♪ 414 00:22:58,126 --> 00:22:59,336 Shh!