1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,006 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:16,534 Aah! 3 00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:47,273 Lisa! Lisa, are you still in there? 4 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:50,401 What's the problem? Did you fall in? 5 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:51,694 Lisa! 6 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,700 - Sorry, Dad. Women and children first. - What the... 7 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:05,125 Where the hell are my keys? 8 00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:08,461 Who stole my keys? Come on. I'm late for work. 9 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,088 Homer, you'd lose your head 10 00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:11,524 if it weren't securely fastened to your neck. 11 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:14,634 - Did you check the den? - The den! Great idea. 12 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:25,145 Warm. No, cold. 13 00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:26,896 Colder. Ice cold. 14 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,439 Do you know where my keys are? 15 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,817 No. I'm talkin' about your breakfast. 16 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,819 Did you try the rumpus room? 17 00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:35,196 Rumpus room? Great idea. 18 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,241 Dad. 19 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,243 - Doh! - Homer. 20 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,494 Here. 21 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,830 I'm sorry, everybody, 22 00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:46,875 but I've only got two cupcakes for the three of you. 23 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,501 Well, Mom, one of us has scarfed down 24 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:51,546 more than enough cupcakes over the past three decades to... 25 00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:53,506 - Bart! - Just take mine. 26 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,217 A simple cupcake will bring me no pleasure. 27 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,180 - Yeah! - All right! 28 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:03,433 All right, class. From the top. 29 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:06,144 One, and two, and three, and... 30 00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:10,106 ♪♪-♪ My country, 'tis of thee ♪ 31 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,401 ♪ La da da da da dee ♪♪ 32 00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:15,945 ♪♪ 33 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,325 ♪♪ 34 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:24,412 Lisa! 35 00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,456 ♪♪ 36 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,791 Lisa Simpson! 37 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,501 Lisa, there's no room for crazy bebop 38 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,128 in "My Country 'Tis of Thee." 39 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,339 But Mr. Largo, that's what my country's all about. 40 00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:36,132 What? 41 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,886 I'm wailing out for the homeless family living out of its car. 42 00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:42,889 The Iowa farmer whose land has been taken away 43 00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,224 by unfeeling bureaucrats. 44 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,434 The West Virginia coal miner, coughing up... 45 00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:47,727 That's all fine and good, 46 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,246 but, Lisa, none of those unpleasant people 47 00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:51,397 are going to be at the recital next week. 48 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:54,442 Now, class. From the top. 49 00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:58,154 Five, six, seven... 50 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,664 Every day at noon a bell rings, 51 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,624 and they herd us in here for feeding time. 52 00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:11,668 And we sit around like cattle, 53 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,670 chewing our cuds, dreading the inevitable... 54 00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,672 Food fight! 55 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,717 Come on, Lis! What are you waiting for? 56 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:20,801 Chuck that spaghetti. 57 00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:22,887 I choose not to participate. 58 00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:32,230 Lisa, we are playing dodge ball here. 59 00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:33,666 The object of the game is to avoid the ball 60 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,608 by weaving or ducking out of its path. 61 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,860 In other words, to dodge the ball. 62 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,570 Listen, missy, just tell me why 63 00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:41,656 you weren't getting out of the way of those balls. 64 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,701 I'm too sad. 65 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,828 Too sad to play dodge ball? 66 00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:49,622 That's ridiculous. Now, let's see some enthusiasm. 67 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:50,706 Play ball! 68 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,591 Come on, come on. Let's go. 69 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:03,594 ♪♪ 70 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,305 In the red trunks 71 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,099 with the record of 48 wins and no losses, 72 00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:10,518 the undisputed champ of this house, 73 00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:13,187 Battling Bart Simpson! 74 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,857 Whoopee, whoo! 75 00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:17,984 And in the lavender trunks, 76 00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:21,321 with a record of zero wins and 48 defeats... 77 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:25,366 Correction. Humiliating defeats, 78 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,994 - all of them by knockout... - Must you do this every time? 79 00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:30,788 Homer "The Human Punching Bag" Simpson! 80 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,170 Doh! Stupid joystick! 81 00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:39,547 Three seconds, folks. A new record. 82 00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,799 Hey, no. I'm not down. I'm... Get up, you! 83 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,843 Get off the mat. Okay. Here we go. 84 00:05:43,926 --> 00:05:46,888 Yo, chump, you back again? 85 00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:50,224 Get outta the way! How come he's not ducking? 86 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:54,103 Wait a minute. I can't get my... Get out of the way, stupid! 87 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,522 - Homer? - Not now, Marge! 88 00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:59,859 - Get out of the corner! - They sent a note from school. 89 00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:01,045 What did you do this time, you little hoodlum? 90 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,236 Oops, get outta the way! 91 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,589 I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. 92 00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:04,923 There's no way they can prove anything. 93 00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:07,492 No, Bart. This note isn't about you. 94 00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:10,078 It isn't? There must be some mistake. 95 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,497 Hey, you're right. This note's about Lisa. 96 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,999 Lisa? 97 00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:19,045 ♪♪ 98 00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:34,602 She doesn't look sad. 99 00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:37,230 I don't see any tears in her eyes. 100 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:39,232 It's not that kind of sad. 101 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,567 I'm sorry, Dad, but you wouldn't understand. 102 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,237 Sure, I would, princess. I have feelings too. 103 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,448 You know, like, "My stomach hurts." 104 00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:50,410 Or "I'm going crazy!" 105 00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:52,954 Why don't you climb up on Daddy's knee 106 00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:54,288 and tell him all about it. 107 00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,916 I'm just wondering what's the point? 108 00:06:56,999 --> 00:07:00,211 Would it make any difference at all if I never existed? 109 00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:02,213 How can we sleep at night 110 00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:03,774 when there's so much suffering in the world? 111 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,592 Well, I... 112 00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,803 Come on, Lisa. Ride the Homer horsey! 113 00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:11,264 Giddyap. Whee! 114 00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:13,641 Lisa, honey, why don't we go upstairs, 115 00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:15,601 and I'll draw you a nice hot bath. 116 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,603 That helps me when I feel sad. 117 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,897 Sorry, Dad. I know you mean well. 118 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,274 Thanks for knowing I mean well. 119 00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:22,751 Gee, Homer. Looks like you got yourself 120 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,485 a real problem on your hands. 121 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,655 Yeah, right. Bart, vacuum this floor. 122 00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,991 Hey, man. I didn't do anything wrong! 123 00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:31,593 In times of trouble you've got to go with what you know. 124 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:33,995 Now, hop to it, boy! 125 00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:40,251 Thinks he's some big stupid Homer. Man. 126 00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:43,796 I'll show him. He thinks he's so big. 127 00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:49,135 - Enjoy your bath? - No, not really. 128 00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:50,553 Too bad. 129 00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,722 Well, I certainly had fun vacuuming. 130 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,308 Maybe now I'll get the pleasure of scrubbing your tub. 131 00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:56,684 So typical of Bart. 132 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,978 All he thinks about is himself. 133 00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:01,856 Hey, don't say stuff like that about me to Maggie. 134 00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,858 She's on my side anyway. 135 00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:06,068 - Is not. Is not. - Is too. Is too. 136 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,152 - Is not. - Is too! 137 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,155 Watch. I'll prove it. 138 00:08:09,238 --> 00:08:13,159 Maggie. Come to the one you love best. 139 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,455 No, Maggie. Come here, girl. Come to me. 140 00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:19,624 Come on, Maggie! The choice is obvious. 141 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:22,460 No, Maggie. Don't go for the glitter. 142 00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:23,753 Look for substance. 143 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,258 All right, Maggie, just go to Bart. 144 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:32,261 Exactly. Come to the one you love best. 145 00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:42,772 No! Come on! 146 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:46,234 Don't let the... Get out of the... 147 00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:47,902 Aaah! No, not again. 148 00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:50,655 Get over to the... Aaah! 149 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:57,495 ♪♪ 150 00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:01,457 Gee, Dad, you're really bad at this. 151 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,210 I am not. It's just that I... 152 00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:05,211 ♪♪ -Couldn't concentrate 153 00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:06,462 with that infernal racket. 154 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,422 Lisa! Lisa. 155 00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:15,263 ♪♪ 156 00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,056 Lisa, what did I tell you about 157 00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:18,766 playing that sax-a-ma-thing in the house? 158 00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:21,561 I was just playing the blues, Dad. 159 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,442 Lisa, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. 160 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:31,571 Go ahead. Play your blues if it'll make you happy. 161 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,489 No. That's okay, Dad. 162 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,825 I'll just work on my fingering. 163 00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:39,787 Unless my fingers clacking on the keys is too loud for you. 164 00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,372 Let's hear it. 165 00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:48,421 You just clack as loud as you want, Lis. 166 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:57,013 ♪♪ 167 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,184 I've gotta find that sound. 168 00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:10,776 ♪♪ 169 00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:22,747 That was beautiful. What's it called? 170 00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:25,750 It's a little tune that I call... 171 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:29,545 the "I Never Had an Italian Suit Blues." 172 00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:37,678 Wait, Margie. 173 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:41,974 Before you go out that door, let's put our happy face on, 174 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,685 because people know how good a mommy you have 175 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,229 by the size of your smile. 176 00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:00,743 What the... 177 00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:04,664 Put up your dukes, Homer. 178 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:08,000 Bart, go easy on me. I'm your dad. 179 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:13,005 I am going easy on you, but you're so old and slow... 180 00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,091 and weak and pathetic. 181 00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:19,178 No! Bart, no! 182 00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,436 Homer, wake up, wake up. 183 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,980 - Man. - My. 184 00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:32,775 Here, let me wipe off the drool. 185 00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:35,945 You know, Marge, getting old is a terrible thing. 186 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,738 I think the saddest day of my life 187 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:40,825 was when I realized I could beat my dad at most things. 188 00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:43,494 And Bart experienced that at the age of four. 189 00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,413 So, why are you still awake? 190 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:48,874 I'm still trying to figure out what's bothering Lisa. 191 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,459 I don't know. 192 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,421 Bart's such a handful, and Maggie needs attention. 193 00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:56,465 But all the while, our little Lisa is becoming a young woman. 194 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,551 So that's it. 195 00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:00,720 This is some kind of underwear thing. 196 00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:03,806 Good night, Homer. 197 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:08,310 ♪♪ 198 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:11,647 Now, now low b-flat. 199 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,442 ♪♪ 200 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:18,446 Okay, Lisa. "Altissimo" register. 201 00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:23,367 ♪♪ 202 00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,536 Very nice. Very nice. 203 00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,371 I once ruptured myself doin' that. 204 00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:28,539 Thanks, Mr. Murphy. 205 00:12:28,622 --> 00:12:31,125 My friends call me Bleedin' Gums. 206 00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:33,085 Eww. How'd you get a name like that? 207 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,422 Well, let me put it this way. You ever been to the dentist? 208 00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:37,673 - Yeah. - Not me. 209 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,925 I suppose I should go to one, 210 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,428 but I got enough pain in my life as it is. 211 00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,430 I have problems too. 212 00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,515 Well, I can't help you, kid. 213 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,643 I'm just a terrific horn player with tons of soul. 214 00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:52,480 - But I can jam with you. - Okay. 215 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:56,192 ♪♪ 216 00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:07,119 ♪ I'm so lonely ♪ 217 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,789 ♪ Since my baby left me ♪ 218 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,500 ♪ I got no money ♪ 219 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:15,503 ♪ And nothing is free ♪ 220 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:18,172 ♪ I been so lonely ♪ 221 00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:21,175 ♪ Since the day I was born ♪ 222 00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:23,844 ♪ All I got is this rusty ♪ 223 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,514 ♪ This rusty old horn ♪ 224 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:29,266 ♪ I got a bratty brother ♪ 225 00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:32,269 ♪ He bugs me every day ♪ 226 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,939 ♪ And this morning my own mother ♪ 227 00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:37,858 ♪ She gave my last cupcake away ♪ 228 00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,486 ♪ My dad acts like he belongs ♪ 229 00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:43,155 ♪ He belongs in the zoo ♪ 230 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,825 ♪ I'm the saddest kid ♪ 231 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:50,246 ♪ In grade number two ♪♪ 232 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,253 You know, you play pretty well 233 00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,588 for someone with no real problems. 234 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,924 Yeah, but I don't feel any better. 235 00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:04,218 The blues isn't about feelin' better. 236 00:14:04,301 --> 00:14:06,637 It's about makin' other people feel worse, 237 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,681 and makin' a few bucks while you're at it. 238 00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:11,308 Which reminds me, if you're ever in the neighborhood, 239 00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:14,103 I'm playing in a little club called the Jazz Hole. 240 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:16,522 Lisa! Get away from that jazzman! 241 00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:18,774 - But Mom! Can't I stay a little longer? - Come on. 242 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,526 We were worried about you. 243 00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:22,903 Nothing personal. I just fear the unfamiliar. 244 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:28,868 ♪♪ 245 00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:44,466 Today's fire raced through downtown Springfield, 246 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,926 gutting Symphony Hall, 247 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,761 the Springfield Museum of Natural History, 248 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,138 the Springfield Arts Center, 249 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,973 and Barney's Bowl-a-rama. 250 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,975 Officials said the... 251 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,352 No! Marge! 252 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:58,814 - Marge, are you all right? - No! I'm very upset. 253 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:02,192 Then you've heard. God. What are we gonna do? 254 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,528 The lanes were kinda warped, but, the food. 255 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:05,821 I'm upset about Lisa. 256 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,239 - Me too. - Me three. 257 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,450 - What are we talking about? - Bart! 258 00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:12,995 Do you think you're being nice enough to your sister, Bart? 259 00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,455 Yeah, easy. 260 00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:16,165 You do love her, don't you? 261 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,667 - Mom. - Well, you do. Don't you? 262 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,420 Don't make me say it. I know the answer. 263 00:15:21,503 --> 00:15:23,213 You know the answer. He knows the answer. 264 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:24,673 Let's just drop it. Okay? 265 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,217 Okay, Bart. You don't have to say it, 266 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:29,345 but you do have to have a loving attitude. 267 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:32,014 Be nice to your sister. 268 00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,308 - Okey-dokey. - Go on, Bart. 269 00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:36,101 No time like the present. 270 00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:41,690 - Hi, man. - I don't want your pity. 271 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,484 - Aw, come on. I'll cheer you up. - How? 272 00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:47,029 Yeah. Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking. 273 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,031 - Is Jacques there? - Who? 274 00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:50,407 Jacques. Last name Strap. 275 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:52,993 Hold on. 276 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:55,704 Jacques Strap? 277 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,082 Hey, guys, I'm lookin' for a Jacques Strap. 278 00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:01,418 What? 279 00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:04,630 Aw, wait a minute. Jacques Strap? 280 00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:08,092 It's you, isn't it, you cowardly little runt! 281 00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:09,760 When I get ahold of you, 282 00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:12,137 I am gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood. 283 00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,767 Where's your sense of humor, man? 284 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:20,771 Lisa, you'll be late for band practice. 285 00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:21,939 Let's go. 286 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:40,290 Give me some quarters. I'm doing my laundry. 287 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:42,835 Yeah. Right. 288 00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,925 - Where's the video boxing? - It's over there in the corner. 289 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,761 If I were you I really would use those quarters for laundry. 290 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,763 Wise guy. 291 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:01,061 - Hey, that kid's pretty good. - Good? Are you kidding? 292 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,563 Over 2,000 fights, 293 00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,314 and he's still on his original quarter. 294 00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:06,442 Okay, who's next? 295 00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:09,445 - Me, me, me, me, me! - No, me! No, me! 296 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,328 Listen, can you teach me to fight like you do? 297 00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,157 - I don't think so. - Come on. 298 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,451 I'll tell you what. I'll do it if you bark like a dog. 299 00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,411 You little... 300 00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,915 You got yourself a deal, Fido. 301 00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:28,672 Well, looks like you're all out of quarters, old man. 302 00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:29,923 That's okay. 303 00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,759 With the tips you've given me, 304 00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:33,135 I'm gonna pound the tar out of 305 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:36,013 a certain little smarty-pants tonight. 306 00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:40,225 Howie! I thought I told you to stop wasting your money 307 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,227 - in this stupid place! - Sorry, Mom. 308 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:45,189 And you! A man of your age. 309 00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:47,900 You should be ashamed of yourself. 310 00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,944 Excuse me. I think I hear my wife calling. 311 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:03,624 Now, Lisa, listen to me. This is important. 312 00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:05,834 I want you to smile today. 313 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,628 But I don't feel like smiling. 314 00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:11,465 Well, it doesn't matter how you feel inside, you know. 315 00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:14,093 It's what shows up on the surface that counts. 316 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,136 That's what my mother taught me. 317 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,430 Take all your bad feelings and push them down. 318 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,849 All the way down, past your knees, 319 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,310 until you're almost walking on them. 320 00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:26,980 And then you'll fit in, and you'll be invited to parties, 321 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:31,902 and boys will like you, and happiness will follow. 322 00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:34,363 Come on. You can do better than that. 323 00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:37,950 That's my girl. 324 00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:40,702 I feel more popular already. 325 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,540 - Hey, nice smile. - Thanks. 326 00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:47,209 Hey, what are you talkin' to her for? 327 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,128 She's just gonna say somethin' weird. 328 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,504 - Not me. - You know, 329 00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:53,298 I used to think you were some brainiac, 330 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:56,593 but I guess you're okay. 331 00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,971 Hey, why don't you come over to my house after practice? 332 00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:01,431 - You could do my homework. - Okay. 333 00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:04,935 Five minutes, people, five minutes. 334 00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:07,396 Now, Miss Simpson, I hope we won't have a repeat 335 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:11,650 of yesterday's outburst of unbridled creativity. 336 00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:14,153 No, sir. 337 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,118 Wow, Mom! 338 00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:24,121 So that's where she gets it. 339 00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:28,083 Lisa, I apologize to you. I was wrong. 340 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,836 I take it all back. Always be yourself. 341 00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:32,713 You wanna be sad, honey, be sad. 342 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,756 We'll ride it out with you. 343 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,758 And when you get finished feeling sad, 344 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,760 we'll still be there. 345 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,179 From now on, 346 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,848 let me do the smiling for both of us. 347 00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:44,183 Okay, Mom. 348 00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:47,519 I said you could stop smiling, Lisa. 349 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,146 I feel like smiling. 350 00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:53,901 I'm gonna knock you out one more time, and that's it. 351 00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:55,527 This is getting boring, man. 352 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,280 Just try not to kill me too hard, son. 353 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:05,537 - Whoa! - Kid, tonight's not your night. 354 00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:07,765 All right, man, you asked for it. No more Mr. Nice Guy. 355 00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:10,417 Aha! Blocked it. You missed me. 356 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,422 I got you. Ooh. 357 00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:17,633 Don't try that. I got you blocked. 358 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,134 And the crowd is on its feet 359 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,928 as Hurricane Homer moves in for the kill! 360 00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:22,804 Boys, I'd like your attention, please. 361 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,140 Quiet, Marge! This is my big moment! 362 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,868 Bart "The Bloody Pulp" Simpson is on the ropes. 363 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:29,061 He is hoping I'll put him out of his misery! 364 00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:32,606 Well, you're in luck, Bart! Here comes my right! 365 00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:35,275 No! 366 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,945 My game, my game! 367 00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:39,821 I could have beat the boy. 368 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,950 Marge, how could you? I was so close. 369 00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,285 I'm sorry, but this is more important 370 00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:46,578 than that silly, loud game. 371 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:48,956 You're right, Mom. I'd just like to 372 00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,391 use this occasion to announce my retirement, 373 00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:52,167 undefeated, from the world of video boxing. 374 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,754 Calm down, Homer. 375 00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:57,673 Lisa has an idea that she thinks 376 00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,424 would be fun for the whole family. 377 00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:04,137 The next song was written by a friend of mine, 378 00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:07,140 one of the great little ladies of jazz. 379 00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:11,687 ♪♪ 380 00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:29,371 ♪ I got this bratty brother ♪ 381 00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,498 ♪ He bugs me every day ♪ 382 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:36,378 ♪ And this mornin' my own mother ♪ 383 00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:39,131 ♪ Gave my last cupcake away ♪ 384 00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:44,803 ♪ My dad acts like he belongs, y'all ♪ 385 00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:47,097 ♪ He belongs in the zoo ♪ 386 00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:48,181 What? 387 00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:51,393 ♪ I'm the saddest kid ♪ 388 00:21:51,476 --> 00:21:55,022 ♪ In grade number two ♪♪ 389 00:21:56,606 --> 00:21:59,443 ♪♪ 390 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:05,991 ♪♪ 391 00:23:00,629 --> 00:23:02,297 Shh!