1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,006 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,434 Come on, Mom. 3 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:43,103 Yeah, Mom. Hurry up. 4 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:46,815 All right. How about "he"? 5 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:50,193 Two points. Your turn, dear. 6 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:55,365 How could anyone make a word out of these lousy letters? 7 00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:58,034 Wait. Here's a good one. "Do." 8 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,328 "Id." Triple word score. 9 00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:01,913 Hey, no abbreviations. 10 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:03,998 Not I.D., Dad. "Id." It's a word. 11 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,959 As in, "This game is stup-id." 12 00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:07,669 Hey, shut up, boy. 13 00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:10,630 Yeah, Bart. You're supposed to be developing verbal abilities 14 00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:13,133 for your big aptitude test tomorrow. 15 00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:15,760 We could look this "id" thing up in the dictionary. 16 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,137 We got one? 17 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,722 I think it's under the short leg of the couch. 18 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,478 "Id: Along with the ego and the superego, 19 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,522 one of three components of the psyche." 20 00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:31,151 - Get outta here. - My turn. "Kwyjibo." 21 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:35,446 K-W-Y-J-I-B-O. 22 00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,740 Twenty-two points, plus triple word score, 23 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,076 plus 50 points for using all my letters. 24 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,661 Game's over. I'm outta here. 25 00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:43,496 Wait a minute, you little cheater. 26 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,956 You're not going anywhere 27 00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:47,083 until you tell me what a "kwyjibo" is. 28 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,419 "Kwyjibo." - 29 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,337 A big, dumb, balding, 30 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:53,506 North American ape with no chin. 31 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:54,757 And a short temper. 32 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,593 I'll show you a big, dumb, balding ape! 33 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,052 Kwyjibo on the loose. 34 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:04,851 ♪ We come from Springfield and we sell swampland ♪♪ 35 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,398 You there. No chewing gum on school grounds. 36 00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:11,941 In the trash can with it. 37 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,570 Principal Skinner, 38 00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:17,715 one of my fellow children is vandalizing school property. 39 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,657 Where? 40 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:22,202 Over there, sir. See? 41 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,637 Look out, Bart. Here comes Skinner. 42 00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:24,746 Yikes! 43 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,168 ♪♪ 44 00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:32,462 Whoever did this is in very deep trouble. 45 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,464 And a sloppy speller, too. 46 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:38,468 The preferred spelling of "wiener" is w-i-e-n-e-r, 47 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:41,888 although "e-i" is an acceptable ethnic variant. 48 00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:44,641 Good point. Boys, let's see your hands. 49 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:49,771 Good. Okay. Simpson? 50 00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:53,650 You might say you caught him red-handed. 51 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:56,945 Simpson, you and I are going to have a little talk. 52 00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,030 Same time, same place? 53 00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:01,366 Yes. In my office after school. 54 00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:03,326 Ooh! 55 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:11,167 Bart, I hope you won't bear some sort of simpleminded grudge against me. 56 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,087 I was merely trying to fend off the desecration of the school building. 57 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,089 - Eat my shorts. - Pardon? 58 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:18,216 Now, I don't want you to worry, class. 59 00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:21,052 These tests will have no effect on your grades. 60 00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:22,975 They merely determine your future social status 61 00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,389 and financial success. If any. 62 00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:27,350 Mrs. Krabappel, isn't Bart supposed to face the window 63 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,686 so he won't be tempted to look at his neighbor's paper? 64 00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:32,939 You're right, Martin. Bart? 65 00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:37,318 Remember to visualize the complex problems, and relax. 66 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:40,697 The test will start... now! 67 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,663 "At 7:30 a.m., 68 00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:50,665 "an express train traveling 60 miles an hour 69 00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:54,085 leaves Santa Fe bound for Phoenix, 520 miles away." 70 00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:56,504 Shh! Visualize it, Bart. 71 00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:58,131 "At the same time, 72 00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:00,550 "a local train traveling 30 miles an hour 73 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,427 "and carrying 40 passengers 74 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,554 "leaves Phoenix bound for Santa Fe. 75 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:06,973 "It's eight cars long and always carries 76 00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:09,684 "the same number of passengers in each car. 77 00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:11,894 "An hour later, a number of passengers 78 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:15,523 "equal to half the number of minutes past the hour get off, 79 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:18,318 "but three times as many plus six get on. 80 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:19,736 "At the second stop, 81 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,654 "half the passengers plus two get off, 82 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,240 but twice as many get on as got on at the first stop." 83 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,075 Oof! 84 00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:30,288 - Ticket, please. - I don't have a ticket. 85 00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:33,291 Come with me, boy. 86 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:38,129 - We've got a stowaway, sir. - I'll pay. How much? 87 00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:40,256 Twice the fare from Tucson to Flagstaff 88 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,343 minus two-thirds of the fare from Albuquerque to El Paso. 89 00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:48,348 Whoa! 90 00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:57,440 Bart, there are students in this class with a chance to do well. 91 00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:59,817 Will you stop bothering them? 92 00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:01,837 He's not bothering me, Mrs. Krabappel. I'm finished. 93 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,863 May I go outside and read under a tree? 94 00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:05,239 Certainly, Martin. 95 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,877 What are you looking at, Bart? 96 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,545 Are those naughty dogs back again? 97 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,056 You have 20 minutes, class. 98 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:33,976 ♪♪ 99 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:39,315 He's a good boy now, and he's getting better, 100 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,818 and sometimes even the best sheep stray from the flock 101 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,195 and need to be hugged extra hard. 102 00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:46,948 That's exactly the kind of crapola that's lousing him up. 103 00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:50,827 Hey, look at this. "I am a wiener." 104 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,329 He sure is. 105 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,331 Mr. and Mrs. Simpson are here. 106 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,333 Send them in. 107 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,793 Hello again, Principal Skinner. 108 00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:00,461 What have you done this time, boy? 109 00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:03,673 I caught your son defacing school property this morning. 110 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:06,843 We estimate the damage at $75, and frankly, 111 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,263 we think it's terribly unfair that other taxpayers should foot the bill. 112 00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:12,515 Yeah, it's a crummy system, but what are you gonna do? 113 00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:16,519 No. He can't mean that. 114 00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,855 My wife thinks you want me to pay for it. 115 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:21,524 That was the idea. 116 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:25,486 By itself, something like this might not call for an extreme penalty, 117 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,822 but this is not an isolated incident. 118 00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:30,700 Bart's behavior is unruly. 119 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:32,660 He's frequently absent from school, 120 00:07:32,743 --> 00:07:34,912 then gives teachers pathetic excuse notes 121 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:38,249 that are obviously childish forgeries when compared to... 122 00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:45,131 Well, at any rate, it is my reluctant decision... 123 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:47,734 Mr. Skinner, Dr. Pryor is here to see you. 124 00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:50,470 - He says it's urgent. - Send him in. 125 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:53,389 Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, this is our district psychiatrist, 126 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,141 Dr. J. Loren Pryor. 127 00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:56,851 What do we need a psychiatrist for? 128 00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:58,311 We know our kid is nuts. 129 00:07:58,394 --> 00:07:59,604 On the contrary. 130 00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:01,981 I have some very exciting news for all of us. 131 00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:04,525 This aptitude test we administered this morning 132 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,049 has revealed that the young Bart here 133 00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:07,445 is what we call a "gifted child." 134 00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:08,571 A what? 135 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:09,965 Your son is a genius, Mr. Simpson. 136 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,032 - Bart? - This lunkhead? 137 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:14,035 - Impossible. - No, no, we're quite certain. 138 00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:16,096 The child is not supposed to know his own IQ, of course, 139 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,748 but, you can see it's beyond the range of any doubt. 140 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,458 912! 141 00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:23,336 No, you have it upside down. It's 216. 142 00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:26,172 That's still amazingly high. 143 00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:29,592 Tell me, Bart, are you ever bored in school? 144 00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,469 You bet. 145 00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:33,596 Ever feel a little frustrated? 146 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,848 All the time, sir. 147 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,850 Do you ever dream of leaving your class... 148 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,453 to pursue your own intellectual development 149 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:40,770 on an independent basis? 150 00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:42,855 Wow! It's like you're reading my mind, man. 151 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,234 You see, when a child with Bart's intellect 152 00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:48,778 is forced to slow down to the pace of a normal person, 153 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:52,490 he's probably going to lash out in ways like these. 154 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,575 I think we should retest him. 155 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,369 We should move him to another school. 156 00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:57,745 Ooh. Better yet. 157 00:08:57,828 --> 00:09:00,081 Bart, we'd like you to try a kind of school 158 00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:04,627 that doesn't rely on grades and rules and bells and buzzers. 159 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,046 A school without walls, 160 00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,732 where you do as much or as little of the assignments 161 00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:09,799 as you feel you need to. 162 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:12,385 - Does that sound good, Bart? - Sign me up, Doc. 163 00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:13,928 Excellent. We're all set then. 164 00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:15,680 Here's all the information you need. 165 00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:17,682 Show up around nine-ish. 166 00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:20,726 Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, congratulations once again. 167 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:23,062 I think we're all in a mood to celebrate. 168 00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:24,605 Doc, this is all too much. 169 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:27,149 I mean, my son a genius? How does it happen? 170 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,318 Well, genius-level intelligence 171 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,613 is usually the result of heredity and environment. 172 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:37,410 Although, in some cases, it's a total mystery. 173 00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:43,958 Aw, come on, Mom. 174 00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:45,960 You look very intelligent, dear. 175 00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:47,878 No way! 176 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:51,674 How about a tie, son? 177 00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,277 Everybody knows boy geniuses wear ties. 178 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,511 You're stifling my creativity, Dad. 179 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,888 - Sorry, boy. - Bart, this is a big day for you. 180 00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:00,224 Why don't you eat something a little more nutritious? 181 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:01,642 Nonsense, Marge. 182 00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:04,562 Frosty Krusty Flakes are what got him where he is today. 183 00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,689 It could be one of these chemicals here 184 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,107 that makes him so smart. 185 00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:11,110 Lisa, maybe you should try some of this. 186 00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:12,320 Homer! 187 00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,739 I'm just saying why not have two geniuses in the family? 188 00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:17,450 Sort of a spare, in case Bart's brain blows up. 189 00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:19,493 I don't care what that stupid test says, Bart. 190 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:20,745 You're a dimwit. 191 00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,413 Maybe so, but from now on, 192 00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:24,248 this dimwit is on easy street. 193 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:27,835 No rush, Dad. Take the scenic route. 194 00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:29,128 Gotcha. 195 00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,889 No. Ties. 196 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,974 Don't worry, son. You can have mine. 197 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,602 Here. Let me show you how to put on a tie. 198 00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:47,438 The hook goes over the top and these things go in there. 199 00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:49,774 Thanks, Dad. 200 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,861 You kissed me. 201 00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:55,363 There's nothing wrong 202 00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:58,282 with a father kissing his son... I think. 203 00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:00,910 Now go on, boy, and pay attention. 204 00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:02,244 Because if you do, 205 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,788 one day you may achieve something 206 00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:06,957 that we Simpsons have dreamed about for generations. 207 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,293 You may outsmart someone. 208 00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:14,715 You must be Bart Simpson. 209 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:18,219 I'm Ms. Melon, your learning coordinator. 210 00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:21,347 Let me say right at the start that we have one rule here: 211 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,349 Make your own rules. 212 00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:25,976 If you feel sleepy, take a nap. 213 00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,144 If you get bored, 214 00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,271 feel free to take out a book and start reading. 215 00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:31,899 - What should I read, ma'am? - Anything you want, Bart. 216 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,614 A comic book? 217 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,908 How did this get mixed in here? 218 00:11:40,991 --> 00:11:42,493 We used it last week 219 00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:45,454 as a prop in a film we made about illiteracy. 220 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,683 Bart, these are the students who will share your work area. 221 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,625 This is Ethan Foley. 222 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:53,254 O Memsahib, Bart. Rabbi has memo. 223 00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:54,922 What? 224 00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:56,590 Ethan's very good with palindromes. 225 00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:58,217 You know, sentences spelled the same 226 00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,635 backwards and forwards. 227 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,637 And this is Sidney Swift. 228 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,682 - Trabing norm doog. - What's your problem? 229 00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:06,642 Don't mind Sidney. 230 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,311 He's just speaking in backwards phonetics today. 231 00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,355 He said, "Good morning, Bart." 232 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:14,275 - And this is Cecile Shapiro. - Hi, Bart. 233 00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:16,569 Cool hamsters. What are their names? 234 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:18,195 Hamster Number One has been infected 235 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,613 with a staphylococci virus. 236 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,991 Hamster Number Two is the control hamster. 237 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,993 Hi, little control hamster. 238 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,703 I wouldn't get too attached, Bart. 239 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,788 We're dissecting him next week. 240 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,749 Discover your desks, people. 241 00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:32,209 Now let's all welcome the newest member 242 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:35,004 of our collective experience, Bart Simpson. 243 00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:39,300 And now we can continue our debate from yesterday. 244 00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:41,635 When we left off, Calvin and Tanya were arguing 245 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,637 that free will is an illusion. 246 00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:46,515 If you ask me, humankind has freedom, 247 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,351 a freedom fraught with paradoxes. 248 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,645 Freud shows how childhood shapes our subconscious mind, 249 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,856 but this helps us to think for ourselves. 250 00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,858 Very good, Ian. 251 00:12:55,941 --> 00:13:00,321 Does anyone else have an example of a paradox? 252 00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:03,532 Without law and order, man has no freedom. 253 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,368 If you want peace, you must prepare for war. 254 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:10,498 Well, it seems the smartest child in the class 255 00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,500 is also the quietest. 256 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:14,794 Bart, what other paradoxes affect our lives? 257 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:21,342 Well, you're damned if you do, 258 00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,552 and you're damned if you don't. 259 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:26,972 Well, I guess that would be a paradox too. 260 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,058 Thank you, Bart. 261 00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:34,438 Tell you what, Bart. 262 00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,690 I'll trade you the weight of a bowling ball 263 00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:39,151 on the eighth moon of Jupiter from my lunch 264 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,654 for the weight of a feather on the second moon of Neptune 265 00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:42,780 from your lunch. 266 00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:45,658 - Well, okay. - There you go! 267 00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,954 I'll trade you 1,000 picoliters of my milk 268 00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:51,330 for 4 gills of yours. 269 00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:54,583 - Well, all right. - Anything you say. 270 00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:59,755 Bart, would you wager your cupcake against my... 271 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,757 Save your breath. 272 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,968 What do you think of the new kid? 273 00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:06,011 A rather mediocre genius. 274 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:08,889 Yes, not very bright at all. 275 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,439 So, how was it? 276 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,149 - Os-os. - What? 277 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,944 - That's backwards for so-so. - Wow. 278 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,280 What are you reading there? Comic books? 279 00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:27,366 Guess you don't want to overheat the old noggin? 280 00:14:27,449 --> 00:14:28,701 Tell you what. 281 00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,661 To celebrate your first day of genius school, 282 00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:34,164 what do you say we go out for a round of frosty chocolate milkshakes? 283 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,417 All righty! 284 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:40,087 Bart, I feel so bad for going so many years without... 285 00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:45,384 What's that word where you encourage something to grow? 286 00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:50,639 - Nurturing. - Nurturing your brilliant brain, 287 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,892 so I got tickets to the opera tonight. 288 00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,060 Hurry up. Get dressed. It starts at 8:00. 289 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,271 Mom. Not tonight. 290 00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:58,874 Come on, Bart, your mother's only trying to help, 291 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,125 so go ahead and enjoy the show. 292 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,817 Homer, you're going too. 293 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,737 But I'm not a genius. Why should I suffer? 294 00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:07,406 ♪♪ 295 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:10,367 Hey, Lis, keep an eye out for the guy with the peanuts. 296 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:12,786 There's no guy with peanuts, dear. 297 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,663 Jeez. No beer. No opera dogs. 298 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,290 Shh! 299 00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:19,418 ♪♪ 300 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:27,426 ♪ Toreador, don't spit on the floor ♪ 301 00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:29,887 ♪ Please use the cuspidor ♪ 302 00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:31,597 ♪ That's what it's for ♪ 303 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,433 Bart, stop fooling around. 304 00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:36,435 Homer, stop encouraging him. 305 00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:38,437 Don't stifle the boy, Marge. 306 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,813 We're supposed to encourage him. 307 00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,190 Shush! 308 00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,233 ♪♪ 309 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,921 Shh! 310 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,718 ♪♪ 311 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:13,263 - Who's the lard butt? - He's the bullfighter. 312 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,808 No way a bull's gonna miss a target that big, man. 313 00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:24,316 ♪♪ 314 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:31,031 Who are those people? 315 00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:34,702 P.U. When is this over? 316 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,704 It ain't over till the fat lady sings. 317 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:38,831 Is that one fat enough for you, son? 318 00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:42,167 ♪♪ 319 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:45,838 Let's go get a burger. 320 00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,840 So, "Y" equals "R" cubed over three. 321 00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:49,842 And if you determine the rate of change 322 00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:51,218 in this curve correctly, 323 00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:54,930 I think you will be pleasantly surprised. 324 00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:00,602 Don't you get it, Bart? 325 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,479 Derivative D-Y equals three R squared, 326 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,565 D R over three, 327 00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:08,444 or R squared D R, or R D R R. 328 00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,904 Har-dee-har-har. Get it? 329 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:14,199 Yeah. 330 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,207 Hi, guys. Great to see ya. 331 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:25,627 - Get lost, Poindexter. - Yeah, beat it, Professor. 332 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,297 Why don't you go build a rocket ship, brainiac? 333 00:17:30,924 --> 00:17:34,762 Well, come on, you two. Don't forget about the film festival. 334 00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:37,306 - The what? - Sorry, Bart. 335 00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:40,350 Your mother bought us tickets to a snooty movie 336 00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:42,352 directed by some Swedish meatball. 337 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:45,647 No. 338 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,192 Well, I guess we don't have to do that. 339 00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:52,529 Um, look, Dad. I got something to tell you. 340 00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,948 Can it wait, son? It's getting kinda dark. 341 00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:57,868 All right, Homer. Come on, baby. 342 00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:59,711 Right across the plate. Let me feel the wind. 343 00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:03,624 Whoa! Strike two! Two and two. 344 00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:06,085 Can you still see the ball, Bart? 345 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,921 Don't worry, Home boy. You're not that fast. 346 00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:10,923 You don't think so? 347 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,883 Well, here comes some real heat. 348 00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:17,805 Whoa! Yeah, strike three! You're outta there! 349 00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:20,349 So, what was it you wanted to tell me, son? 350 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:21,725 Nothing, Pop. 351 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,896 I'm still trying to get you a lab partner, Bart. 352 00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:28,607 If we don't get any volunteers soon, I'll assign somebody. 353 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:30,943 Say, what's that? It looks dangerous. 354 00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:34,780 Well, it's really pretty top secret, ma'am. 355 00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:36,990 All right, keep going. 356 00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:38,367 But you do know what happens 357 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:39,952 when you mix acids and bases, right? 358 00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:41,995 'Course I do. 359 00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:48,669 Sorry. 360 00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:53,173 Now, Bart, we want to emphasize that nobody's angry about this. 361 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:55,509 We're... We're just concerned. 362 00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:57,719 When a young man with a 216 IQ 363 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,429 can't make a simple experiment work, 364 00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:01,723 well, it doesn't take a Bart Simpson to figure out 365 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:02,975 that something's wrong. 366 00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:05,894 Tell me. Is the class moving too slowly for you? 367 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,020 Lord, no. 368 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,064 Well, then, what can we do to make you happy? 369 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,066 I wanna go back to my old class. 370 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,152 But, Bart, don't you remember the boredom, 371 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:16,446 the ennui, the intellectual malaise? 372 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,532 Yeah, well, you know, kinda, um, 373 00:19:18,615 --> 00:19:20,993 but I was thinking I could go undercover. 374 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:24,746 Undercover? Bart, I'm intrigued. Go on. 375 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:28,167 Well, I could pretend I'm a regular dumb kid. 376 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,418 You know, to study them 377 00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,461 and all the stuff they do with each other. 378 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:33,463 You know, see what makes them tick. 379 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,966 I see. Like Jane Goodall and the chimps. 380 00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:37,467 Yeah. 381 00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:38,927 This is most impressive, Bart. 382 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,930 You write up your proposal while I talk to Principal Skinner. 383 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,474 - Proposal? - You know, outline your project, 384 00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:47,519 what you hope to achieve, what you'll require to do it. 385 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,605 Gotcha, man. 386 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:54,526 "'My proposal' by Bart Simpson. 387 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,529 "I want to pretend... 388 00:19:57,613 --> 00:20:01,575 "I am a regular dumb kid. Period. 389 00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:05,495 By this, I hope..." 390 00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:10,876 No. "For this, I will..." 391 00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:15,380 "Require..." 392 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:20,052 Man. 393 00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:24,056 "'My Confession' by Bart Simpson. 394 00:20:24,139 --> 00:20:27,893 "I am a regular dumb kid. Period. 395 00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:32,064 I cheated on my intelligence test. Period." 396 00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:34,233 Finished already? 397 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:37,861 Principal Skinner will be very interested to... 398 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:41,365 You know, 399 00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:43,992 you misspelled "confession." 400 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,994 Hey, lookin' good, Bart. 401 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,663 Bart, what happened? 402 00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:50,123 I had a little accident in chemistry today. 403 00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:53,252 Well, I bet it's nothing a little turpentine won't take off. 404 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,753 Come on, son. 405 00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:57,923 Don't be discouraged, son. 406 00:20:58,006 --> 00:20:59,926 I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors 407 00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:02,469 before he invented the lightbulb. 408 00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:04,888 Dad, I gotta tell you something. 409 00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,890 Hope you won't be too mad. 410 00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:10,435 - What is it, son? - I'm not a genius, Dad. 411 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,479 What? 412 00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:14,815 I cheated on the intelligence test. 413 00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:17,776 I'm sorry. But I just want to say 414 00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:20,279 that the past few weeks have been great. 415 00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:22,489 Me and you have done stuff together. 416 00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:24,491 You've helped me out with things, 417 00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:26,910 and we're closer than we've ever been. 418 00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:28,996 I love you, Dad. 419 00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:33,166 And I think if something can bring us that close, 420 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,460 it can't possibly be bad. 421 00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:39,548 Why, you little... 422 00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:43,343 What's going on out there? 423 00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:45,387 I think Bart's stupid again, Mom. 424 00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:47,389 Well. 425 00:21:49,224 --> 00:21:51,643 You can't stay in there forever! 426 00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,270 I can try. 427 00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:55,480 March your butt right out here, now! 428 00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,649 - No way, man. - But... 429 00:21:57,733 --> 00:22:00,152 Son, if you don't come out, 430 00:22:00,235 --> 00:22:04,239 I can't hug you and kiss you and make you feel all better. 431 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,450 You think I'm dumb enough to fall for that? 432 00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:07,743 I'm insulted. 433 00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:20,088 ♪♪ 434 00:23:01,296 --> 00:23:03,340 Shh!