1
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,000
[theme music playing]

2
00:00:18,541 --> 00:00:21,500
You engaged in copulatory shenanigans
with Godcat?

3
00:00:21,583 --> 00:00:23,958
-Gross.
-You know how weddings are.

4
00:00:24,041 --> 00:00:26,375
We had some drinks.
We slow-danced to Snow Patrol.

5
00:00:26,458 --> 00:00:29,250
Their soft yet rocking jams
can turn on anyone's faucet.

6
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,416
-What are you gonna do?
-I don't know.

7
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,250
-Are you telling Godcat?
-I don't know!

8
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:37,166
The final challenge begins
in five minutes.

9
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:41,083
Also, if you're the owner of
a white unicorn with the rainbow buttocks,

10
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,791
-your unicorn is being towed.
-Oh.

11
00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:44,833
[hyperventilating]

12
00:00:44,916 --> 00:00:47,625
Okay, listen to me.
Everything you said was true.

13
00:00:47,708 --> 00:00:51,625
You are the best one for this job.
You were born to do this.

14
00:00:51,708 --> 00:00:53,750
Okay. Yeah, you're right.

15
00:00:53,833 --> 00:00:56,166
I can be supreme leader
of Heaven and Hell.

16
00:00:56,250 --> 00:01:01,041
I interned at Disney,
for God's sake. I can do this. [grunting]

17
00:01:01,125 --> 00:01:03,166
-Oops. Sorry. Hormones.
-[crowd cheering]

18
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:05,875
Come on. How is that not a penalty?

19
00:01:05,958 --> 00:01:10,416
Okay. Well, she looks pretty psyched up,
so we have to be too. Let's go.

20
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:12,041
I'm out, okay?

21
00:01:12,125 --> 00:01:16,083
I lost my best friend
slash gaming buddy slash business partner.

22
00:01:16,166 --> 00:01:17,416
[sobs]

23
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:20,791
You see, we invented
these high-heeled shoes for teenage boys.

24
00:01:20,875 --> 00:01:23,583
Now Bro-lettos will never hit the market.

25
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,958
Oh, come on. I can motivate you.

26
00:01:26,041 --> 00:01:28,750
Um… You have an incredible physique,

27
00:01:28,833 --> 00:01:31,458
like a sweaty ottoman
with hot dogs for arms.

28
00:01:31,541 --> 00:01:33,708
See? Okay, let's go!

29
00:01:33,791 --> 00:01:35,083
[Travis groaning]

30
00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:37,916
[grunting]

31
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,250
Herb, tell me what is going on.

32
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:43,458
Well, I've been doing this thing
called embezzling.

33
00:01:43,541 --> 00:01:47,166
It's like bamboozling,
but, uh, with mathematics.

34
00:01:47,250 --> 00:01:49,416
Anyhow, turns out I'm bad at it.

35
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:54,375
So when the ax was about to fall,
I decided to fake my own death,

36
00:01:54,458 --> 00:02:00,208
and who better to leave holding the bag
than that speed bump with eyelids,

37
00:02:00,291 --> 00:02:02,250
Marv Higgins.

38
00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:04,416
But you can't betray your own child.

39
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,833
Even if they aren't exactly
what you thought they'd be,

40
00:02:06,916 --> 00:02:09,583
you… you love them no matter what.

41
00:02:09,666 --> 00:02:11,208
Got to be honest, Abbie,

42
00:02:11,291 --> 00:02:14,083
feels like maybe
you're projecting just a wee bit there.

43
00:02:14,166 --> 00:02:16,750
Ooh. Wait. Aw, dang it.

44
00:02:16,833 --> 00:02:21,000
I just told you my whole evil plan.
Well, I have to kill you now.

45
00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:25,208
Ugh! That is totally going to cut in
on date night with the wife.

46
00:02:25,291 --> 00:02:29,208
Nancy, don't be rude.
introduce yourself to Abbie.

47
00:02:29,708 --> 00:02:32,291
Herb, you seem unwell.

48
00:02:32,375 --> 00:02:34,250
[chuckling] I'm fine.

49
00:02:34,333 --> 00:02:36,791
Ever since I stopped huffing mulch fumes,

50
00:02:36,875 --> 00:02:40,000
the hallucinations have slowed way down.

51
00:02:40,083 --> 00:02:42,708
Now, come on. I knew I put-- Oh!

52
00:02:42,791 --> 00:02:44,750
-[ominous music playing]
-[grunting]

53
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:48,500
This chemical cheese hardens in seconds,

54
00:02:48,583 --> 00:02:52,000
so when I drop you
into the Big Bulk lagoon, [chuckles]

55
00:02:52,083 --> 00:02:55,250
you'll sink faster
than my balls in a hot tub.

56
00:02:55,333 --> 00:02:56,416
[groans]

57
00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:58,416
-[crowd cheering]
-[gong tolls]

58
00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:01,291
Ladies and gentlemen, angels and demons,

59
00:03:01,375 --> 00:03:04,625
gold-winged celestials
and sock-stealing dryer goblins.

60
00:03:04,708 --> 00:03:05,708
This is it.

61
00:03:05,791 --> 00:03:07,791
The final event of the tournament.

62
00:03:07,875 --> 00:03:11,875
Who will be our new CEO?

63
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:14,208
[crowd cheering]

64
00:03:15,875 --> 00:03:17,500
-[wolf whistle]
-[screaming]

65
00:03:17,583 --> 00:03:19,125
For your final challenge,

66
00:03:19,208 --> 00:03:21,958
to prove that mortals
can do the impossible

67
00:03:22,041 --> 00:03:24,166
when guided by the hand of God,

68
00:03:24,250 --> 00:03:26,666
you must make your counterpart…

69
00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,166
[all yelling] Go against human nature!

70
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:31,500
[buzzer sounding]

71
00:03:31,583 --> 00:03:34,291
Oh no. I should've known.
This is a fan favorite.

72
00:03:34,375 --> 00:03:37,125
The board figures out the hardest thing
for the human counterpart,

73
00:03:37,208 --> 00:03:40,541
then the god has to make them go
against human nature to do it. But it's--

74
00:03:40,625 --> 00:03:42,375
[moaning, groaning]

75
00:03:42,458 --> 00:03:44,583
Are you okay? Should we get a doctor?

76
00:03:44,666 --> 00:03:45,625
I don't want your help.

77
00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:47,541
You're the one that got me into this mess.

78
00:03:47,625 --> 00:03:49,666
You and those butt clowns
from Snow Patrol.

79
00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:51,583
[sighing] Fucking soft rock.

80
00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:54,000
-Fucking motherfuckers.
-What an odd thing to say.

81
00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:55,083
Eh, not really.

82
00:03:55,166 --> 00:03:57,625
Have you listened to their new album?
It's rap metal.

83
00:03:57,708 --> 00:03:58,916
[dramatic music playing]

84
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,041
Herb, you don't want to do this!

85
00:04:01,125 --> 00:04:03,250
Abbie, I'm sorry, but…

86
00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:05,708
-[screaming]
-[Marv yelling]

87
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:08,625
[both grunt]

88
00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:10,125
[Abbie panting]

89
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:11,583
Marv… [chuckling]

90
00:04:11,666 --> 00:04:13,250
…how did you find me?

91
00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:16,541
It all started 20 minutes ago.

92
00:04:16,625 --> 00:04:19,250
[suspenseful music playing]

93
00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:20,166
Hmm.

94
00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:23,458
[music ends]

95
00:04:23,541 --> 00:04:24,750
That's the whole story?

96
00:04:24,833 --> 00:04:28,833
You walked into the garden department
because you saw my melted ice cream?

97
00:04:28,916 --> 00:04:32,250
Well, I also drank it,
but that's neither here nor there.

98
00:04:32,333 --> 00:04:34,583
-[horn honks]
-Marv, son,

99
00:04:34,666 --> 00:04:36,708
I'm so glad to see you.

100
00:04:36,791 --> 00:04:41,250
Dad! Thank goodness you're alive.
When you blew up, I was so sad.

101
00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:45,833
He didn't blow up. He faked his death
so he could leave you holding the bag.

102
00:04:45,916 --> 00:04:49,041
Son, your wife has clearly gone crazy.

103
00:04:49,125 --> 00:04:52,583
You see how she tied herself up?
She got cheese for feet.

104
00:04:52,666 --> 00:04:54,250
Oh, I've seen this before.

105
00:04:54,333 --> 00:04:58,083
Sad, very sad.
Well, I actually have to get going. So--

106
00:04:58,166 --> 00:05:02,250
-Dad, wait! The feds came by and--
-Oh, right, that little legal stuff.

107
00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:04,375
Marv, here's what you're gonna do.

108
00:05:04,458 --> 00:05:10,208
You're gonna take responsibility
for all of it because you love me,

109
00:05:10,291 --> 00:05:12,916
and I love you, son.

110
00:05:13,416 --> 00:05:15,666
-[tires screeching]
-[dramatic music playing]

111
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:16,708
[growling]

112
00:05:17,291 --> 00:05:18,250
[both grunting]

113
00:05:20,583 --> 00:05:24,416
[Abbie] Marv, where did you learn
to swing on a rope like that?

114
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:28,458
Oh, I've been combat role playing
as Tarzan with my gaming group lately.

115
00:05:28,541 --> 00:05:33,041
Well, technically I play a mating gorilla
whom Tarzan falls in love with, but--

116
00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:34,541
Wait, stop the car.

117
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:35,666
[tires screeching]

118
00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:39,666
Wow, they're gorgeous and on sale.

119
00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:41,500
[soft music playing]

120
00:05:43,916 --> 00:05:47,250
Devilcat, you and your human counterpart
are up first.

121
00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:49,166
[crowd cheering]

122
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:52,250
Devilcat, your partner Greta is incapable

123
00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:54,958
of connecting with other creatures
on an emotional level.

124
00:05:55,041 --> 00:05:57,958
So, in order to make your human
go against her nature,

125
00:05:58,041 --> 00:05:59,500
you must defeat this.

126
00:05:59,583 --> 00:06:00,541
[Greta gasping]

127
00:06:01,458 --> 00:06:03,916
-[monster roaring]
-[screaming]

128
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:08,458
Wait! How does defeating a giant
vampire anus go against Greta's nature?

129
00:06:08,541 --> 00:06:09,916
Because to save it,

130
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,666
you must quench its thirst
for human suffering.

131
00:06:13,750 --> 00:06:15,916
It drinks human tears.

132
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,791
Either you make Greta cry,
or the monster eats her. Good luck.

133
00:06:19,875 --> 00:06:21,958
[monster roaring]

134
00:06:22,041 --> 00:06:24,375
Oh. Here, read the last page of this.

135
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:28,791
"And then they took Old Yeller out
to the lawn and tied him to a tree."

136
00:06:28,875 --> 00:06:30,000
[monster screeching]

137
00:06:30,083 --> 00:06:33,666
Uh… Uh…
"For sale, baby shoes. Never worn."

138
00:06:34,750 --> 00:06:37,833
Uh, okay. There's this movie called Up,
and right in the beginning--

139
00:06:37,916 --> 00:06:40,208
-It's not working.
-Wait. Wait. I got it.

140
00:06:41,375 --> 00:06:42,375
[bagpipe music playing]

141
00:06:42,458 --> 00:06:44,541
Why would bagpipes make me emotional?

142
00:06:44,625 --> 00:06:48,625
It's an instrument that sounds like
it's apologizing to you for how it sounds.

143
00:06:49,458 --> 00:06:50,875
Okay, **** this.

144
00:06:51,916 --> 00:06:52,750
[growling]

145
00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:55,875
[crowd cheering]

146
00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:57,583
Whoo. [laughing]

147
00:06:57,666 --> 00:06:59,958
-Yeah!
-Ooh! So tough.

148
00:07:00,041 --> 00:07:01,666
Yes, you defeated the monster,

149
00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:04,541
but you technically didn't get Greta
to go against her nature.

150
00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:06,875
-Zero points awarded.
-[buzzer buzzing]

151
00:07:06,958 --> 00:07:10,250
Yes! We've got this, Travis. Ha-ha.

152
00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:12,000
[engine revving]

153
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,458
[dramatic music playing]

154
00:07:15,875 --> 00:07:18,625
Oh, look, Nancy, we've grown apart.

155
00:07:18,708 --> 00:07:22,541
I am a strong, independent man and you're…

156
00:07:22,625 --> 00:07:26,250
Well, you're just a bag of rice
that I drilled two holes into.

157
00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:29,125
-[grunting]
-[brakes screeching]

158
00:07:30,041 --> 00:07:32,791
[Marv] If he gets to that Lambulkini,
he's gone.

159
00:07:32,875 --> 00:07:34,375
I can't let him get away.

160
00:07:34,458 --> 00:07:36,375
[music intensifies]

161
00:07:43,958 --> 00:07:45,041
[music stops abruptly]

162
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,791
[dramatic music plays]

163
00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:49,791
[both yelling in slow motion]

164
00:07:52,958 --> 00:07:54,000
[brakes squealing]

165
00:07:54,083 --> 00:07:55,958
Not so fast, Herb.

166
00:07:56,041 --> 00:07:57,291
[sighing]

167
00:07:57,375 --> 00:08:02,083
Marv, sometimes when a father
and a son love each other very, very much,

168
00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,541
but can't make it work,

169
00:08:03,625 --> 00:08:06,625
well, one of them murders the other
with a crossbow.

170
00:08:06,708 --> 00:08:07,625
Bye, Marv.

171
00:08:07,708 --> 00:08:09,208
[dramatic tone]

172
00:08:09,916 --> 00:08:11,583
[soft music playing]

173
00:08:12,708 --> 00:08:13,625
[knuckles cracking]

174
00:08:13,708 --> 00:08:16,583
Okay, here's what's gonna happen.
You're gonna move your cart.

175
00:08:16,666 --> 00:08:18,958
I'm gonna drive off in my Lambulkini,

176
00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:23,750
and then you are gonna call the feds
and turn yourself in for bamboozlement.

177
00:08:23,833 --> 00:08:25,791
How's that sound? Sound good?

178
00:08:25,875 --> 00:08:26,791
No.

179
00:08:26,875 --> 00:08:29,000
How dare you, Marv?

180
00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:31,666
You are supposed to respect your father!

181
00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:33,541
[intense music playing]

182
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:40,041
[growling] You're not my father!

183
00:08:40,541 --> 00:08:42,541
[both grunting]

184
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:46,541
Mother--

185
00:08:47,291 --> 00:08:50,625
[yelling, panting]

186
00:08:51,291 --> 00:08:57,291
Huh? You stood up to me
and crowned yourself with my perm?

187
00:08:57,875 --> 00:09:01,041
I'm-- I'm proud of you, boy.

188
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,625
Whoa, what happened?

189
00:09:04,708 --> 00:09:07,166
I-- I blacked out there for a second.

190
00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:08,583
[crowd cheering]

191
00:09:08,666 --> 00:09:12,250
Okay, folks, this is for all the marbles.

192
00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:16,541
If Godcat fails,
Devilcat will be named the new CEO.

193
00:09:16,625 --> 00:09:18,750
But if Godcat completes his challenge,

194
00:09:18,833 --> 00:09:21,875
the games will be tied,
and we will go to sudden death.

195
00:09:21,958 --> 00:09:26,250
And if you both die, we pick fifty mortals
and we do a wet t-shirt contest.

196
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,750
-Let's go!
-[crowd] Yeah!

197
00:09:29,375 --> 00:09:32,375
For your final challenge,
we picked something extra difficult

198
00:09:32,458 --> 00:09:34,666
for this screen-addicted,
Hot Pocket of a child

199
00:09:34,750 --> 00:09:38,083
who needs the internet's approval
more than he needs air.

200
00:09:38,166 --> 00:09:41,708
He will have to defeat
his online troll, Aidan.

201
00:09:42,208 --> 00:09:45,250
Summon the Aidan!

202
00:09:45,916 --> 00:09:50,208
Nah, you guys go ahead
and pillage the nursing home without me.

203
00:09:50,291 --> 00:09:51,166
[mystical tone]

204
00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:54,541
Whoa! Am I being raptured?

205
00:09:54,625 --> 00:09:56,000
Sick!

206
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:58,000
-[mystical tone continues]
-[gasping]

207
00:09:58,083 --> 00:09:59,791
[grunting]

208
00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:03,000
Aidan and Trashfist,
you will now engage in a horrific battle,

209
00:10:03,583 --> 00:10:06,458
made popular
by Earth's least talented joke writers,

210
00:10:06,541 --> 00:10:07,833
a comedy roast.

211
00:10:07,916 --> 00:10:10,291
Human Dorito, you go first.

212
00:10:10,875 --> 00:10:13,958
A roast? My pleasure. Um…

213
00:10:14,041 --> 00:10:16,458
Travis is so ugly,

214
00:10:16,541 --> 00:10:20,291
if he met One Direction,
they'd go in a different direction.

215
00:10:20,375 --> 00:10:21,500
[all laughing]

216
00:10:21,583 --> 00:10:23,291
Travis is so dumb,

217
00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:26,416
he thinks Dunkin' Donuts is
a basketball team.

218
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,583
[crowd] Ooh!

219
00:10:27,666 --> 00:10:29,166
Oh yeah? Well…

220
00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:31,208
Wait. Dunkin' Donuts?

221
00:10:31,291 --> 00:10:34,000
That's not a joke.
You literally thought that.

222
00:10:34,083 --> 00:10:35,333
[crowd booing]

223
00:10:36,166 --> 00:10:37,500
[whispering]

224
00:10:38,083 --> 00:10:42,000
Oh. Well, yeah, Aidan's skin is so oily,
it's being acquired by Pizza Hut.

225
00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:46,916
Well, Travis sucks so much,
his wisdom teeth had him removed.

226
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,708
Seriously. His teeth are horrible.

227
00:10:48,791 --> 00:10:49,791
[crowd laughing]

228
00:10:49,875 --> 00:10:52,541
What? No, no.
You're the one with bad teeth.

229
00:10:52,625 --> 00:10:56,166
The nurse said that your mouth looks like
someone threw a piano into an open grave.

230
00:10:56,250 --> 00:11:00,083
[gasps] Wait, you're just projecting
your insecurities onto me.

231
00:11:00,166 --> 00:11:01,708
Really, that's what all trolls do.

232
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:03,666
I shouldn't care
what you think of me at all.

233
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,291
[soft music playing]

234
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:06,750
Oh yeah, dork?

235
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:10,125
If you were an energy drink,
you'd be called "Cringe."

236
00:11:10,208 --> 00:11:13,708
See? Like that.
That didn't hurt at all. [chuckles]

237
00:11:13,791 --> 00:11:18,333
You can call me whatever you want.
I don't need your validation anymore.

238
00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,583
Yours or anyone else's

239
00:11:20,666 --> 00:11:22,333
because I'm awesome.

240
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,333
Oh!

241
00:11:24,416 --> 00:11:26,458
You're right.

242
00:11:26,541 --> 00:11:28,291
You are awesome.

243
00:11:28,375 --> 00:11:30,375
You're a great streamer.

244
00:11:30,458 --> 00:11:34,291
You have a clean house,
and crows don't live in your dishwasher.

245
00:11:34,375 --> 00:11:38,875
Meanwhile, my stepparent sold our bathtub
to buy Hoobastank tickets.

246
00:11:38,958 --> 00:11:42,333
So yeah, I was trying
to keep you from getting too confident

247
00:11:42,416 --> 00:11:43,958
so you wouldn't ditch me.

248
00:11:44,041 --> 00:11:46,666
And I'm kind of… you know…

249
00:11:46,750 --> 00:11:47,625
sorry.

250
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,083
Hey. You don't have to worry
about losing me.

251
00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:51,833
You're my best friend.

252
00:11:51,916 --> 00:11:53,916
-[mystical tone]
-[crowd cheering]

253
00:11:54,958 --> 00:11:58,000
Challenge accomplished.
One point to Godcat.

254
00:11:58,083 --> 00:11:59,791
We have a tie, folks!

255
00:11:59,875 --> 00:12:01,416
[crowd cheering]

256
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:03,416
[police sirens wailing]

257
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:04,833
[indistinct radio chatter]

258
00:12:04,916 --> 00:12:07,083
Uh, Marv, wait for me?

259
00:12:07,166 --> 00:12:08,583
Uh, no.

260
00:12:08,666 --> 00:12:12,416
But how about I send you
some care packages in prison?

261
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:13,458
Any requests?

262
00:12:13,541 --> 00:12:19,125
Maybe a heartfelt letter telling me
how much you appreciate our special bond?

263
00:12:19,708 --> 00:12:22,791
Oh! And maybe a bag of rice.
You know my type.

264
00:12:25,583 --> 00:12:28,958
[giggling] Honey,
you were incredible out there.

265
00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:32,583
You're like Jason Bourne,
but balding and trying to hide it.

266
00:12:32,666 --> 00:12:34,500
So like Matt Damon, I guess.

267
00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:37,083
Look, Abbie, I screwed up.

268
00:12:37,166 --> 00:12:41,083
I've been too focused
on my job and my hobbies.

269
00:12:41,166 --> 00:12:43,458
None of that is worth losing you over.

270
00:12:43,541 --> 00:12:44,458
I'm sorry.

271
00:12:44,541 --> 00:12:48,541
I'm sorry too. I should've taken
more of an interest in those things.

272
00:12:48,625 --> 00:12:51,083
I should've taken
more of an interest in you.

273
00:12:52,166 --> 00:12:54,875
Well, from now on that all changes.

274
00:12:54,958 --> 00:12:57,000
[gasps] Does that mean
you'll come to my book club?

275
00:12:57,083 --> 00:12:59,250
We're reading He-Man fan fiction.

276
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:01,000
Sure, if you come with me

277
00:13:01,083 --> 00:13:03,916
to that alligator combat class
I saw on Groupon.

278
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,458
Or how about we split the difference?

279
00:13:06,541 --> 00:13:09,458
Go get drunk on Smirnoff Ice
and play Buck Hunter?

280
00:13:09,541 --> 00:13:10,375
Deal.

281
00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:13,083
-[both chuckling]
-[soft music playing]

282
00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:15,666
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tie score,

283
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:19,208
which means we are headed to sudden death.

284
00:13:19,291 --> 00:13:20,708
[dramatic music playing]

285
00:13:20,791 --> 00:13:22,666
[male voice] Sudden death!

286
00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:23,958
[dramatic music playing]

287
00:13:26,708 --> 00:13:27,833
[all gasping]

288
00:13:33,958 --> 00:13:37,208
Whoever gets their mortal advisor
across the finish line first

289
00:13:37,291 --> 00:13:41,291
wins the CEO position
and a sponsorship with Purina Dog Food.

290
00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:43,041
Easy-peasy.

291
00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:46,541
Now, remember, if you get sprayed
with lava, just keep running.

292
00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:50,166
Hopefully, the momentum will carry your
flaming corpse across the finish line.

293
00:13:50,958 --> 00:13:53,166
Listen to me, you got this.

294
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:54,541
Own this course.

295
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,500
Own it like my stepdad owns
eight pitbulls.

296
00:13:57,583 --> 00:13:59,166
Let's go!

297
00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:02,416
-[music continues]
-[crowd cheering, whistling]

298
00:14:04,916 --> 00:14:07,000
Hey, if I get laser murdered,

299
00:14:07,083 --> 00:14:09,333
I just want you to know
you've been a good sister.

300
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:10,958
And if we make it out of this alive,

301
00:14:11,041 --> 00:14:13,208
I promise to start flushing
the downstairs toilet.

302
00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:15,708
Thanks, Trav. You've been a good brother.

303
00:14:15,791 --> 00:14:18,583
I promise to stop micro-dosing
your Froot Loops with ketamine.

304
00:14:18,666 --> 00:14:20,916
-Wait, what!?
-And your time starts…

305
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,250
-[gun fires]
-…now!

306
00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:24,375
[dramatic music playing]

307
00:14:24,458 --> 00:14:26,750
[both screaming]

308
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,333
[both grunting]

309
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:33,583
Good boy. Good boy.

310
00:14:33,666 --> 00:14:35,291
Turn. Turn.

311
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,375
Okay, run.

312
00:14:37,750 --> 00:14:39,583
Buddy, hup. There you go. Hup.

313
00:14:39,666 --> 00:14:42,083
[both panting, grunting]

314
00:14:43,666 --> 00:14:46,583
[Godcat] Jump. Get down. Slide.

315
00:14:47,208 --> 00:14:49,208
[grunting]

316
00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:55,000
[crowd] Travis! Travis! Travis!

317
00:14:55,083 --> 00:14:57,291
-[grunting, groaning]
-[screaming]

318
00:14:57,375 --> 00:14:58,250
[crowd exclaims]

319
00:14:58,916 --> 00:15:01,250
-[Travis grunting]
-[crowd cheering]

320
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,458
[Travis groaning]

321
00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:08,583
-Get up! Come on!
-Get up! Come on!

322
00:15:08,666 --> 00:15:10,750
-Run!
-What are you waiting for? Go!

323
00:15:10,833 --> 00:15:12,750
[intense music playing]

324
00:15:12,833 --> 00:15:14,583
[all exclaiming in slow motion]

325
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:19,125
Travis wins!

326
00:15:19,625 --> 00:15:21,166
We have a winner!

327
00:15:22,458 --> 00:15:25,166
Introducing your new CEO,

328
00:15:25,875 --> 00:15:29,125
Godcat!

329
00:15:29,208 --> 00:15:31,166
[crowd cheering]

330
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:37,166
Congrats, you are now CEO
of both Heaven and Hell.

331
00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:40,916
[gasps] Thank you. It feels good
to have all the power again.

332
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,625
Now, first things first,
I want to eat an entire dolphin.

333
00:15:44,708 --> 00:15:47,000
Ever since becoming a cat
I've had this hankering--

334
00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:50,916
Now that you're hired,
we can begin phase two of the reorg,

335
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,708
the annihilation
of the human race. [chuckling]

336
00:15:54,791 --> 00:15:58,291
What? I thought the merger
was about redistributing human souls.

337
00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,416
Well, once we realized humans

338
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:02,583
were the source
of most of the company's problems,

339
00:16:02,666 --> 00:16:05,375
we figured we'd wipe them out
and start over.

340
00:16:05,458 --> 00:16:09,250
Look, do I see the appeal
in eliminating the 7 billion dingbats

341
00:16:09,333 --> 00:16:12,291
who invented everything
from nuclear war to eating Tide Pods?

342
00:16:12,375 --> 00:16:13,791
On paper, sure.

343
00:16:13,875 --> 00:16:16,625
But my time on Earth with this family

344
00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:20,375
has shown me that humans are horrible,
but they're also amazing.

345
00:16:20,958 --> 00:16:24,000
They're terrible and wonderful
and everything in between.

346
00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:27,875
So I'm sorry, but as God, it's a hard no.

347
00:16:29,541 --> 00:16:30,666
Very well.

348
00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:33,458
Thank you for stepping down so honorably.

349
00:16:33,541 --> 00:16:35,833
Huh? What do you mean? I didn't. I--

350
00:16:35,916 --> 00:16:40,250
Beelzebub, we would like to offer you
the CEO position.

351
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:43,375
That is, if you agree
to wipe out humanity.

352
00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:46,125
[sighing] I mean, I do want the job, but--

353
00:16:46,208 --> 00:16:50,083
Wait! Wait, don't do this.
Humans may not be perfectly designed.

354
00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:52,750
We might even be
straight-up evil at times,

355
00:16:52,833 --> 00:16:55,208
but our goodness
doesn't come from being perfect.

356
00:16:55,291 --> 00:16:56,125
We're a mess.

357
00:16:56,625 --> 00:16:59,041
And you know what? Messes are okay.

358
00:16:59,125 --> 00:17:03,291
I'm a mess. My family is a mess,
but that's why I love them.

359
00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:05,041
That's why we love each other.

360
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,750
-[crying]
-[soft music playing]

361
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,125
♪ Take it to the river ♪

362
00:17:11,208 --> 00:17:13,583
It's your decision, Beelzebub.

363
00:17:16,875 --> 00:17:17,708
I'll do it.

364
00:17:17,791 --> 00:17:18,708
No!

365
00:17:18,791 --> 00:17:20,375
[dramatic music playing]

366
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:30,750
Every step of the way,
you've been there haunting me.

367
00:17:30,833 --> 00:17:33,125
But I am done living in your shadow.

368
00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:36,750
I am darkness.

369
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:39,416
I cast the shadow now!

370
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:41,125
Yes, Beelzebub.

371
00:17:41,208 --> 00:17:42,708
Do it. Do it.

372
00:17:42,791 --> 00:17:48,083
You're all fired!

373
00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:49,416
[music intensifies]

374
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,083
[roaring]

375
00:17:56,166 --> 00:17:57,916
[screaming]

376
00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:00,666
[screams]

377
00:18:05,208 --> 00:18:07,833
Beelzebub, my little demon,

378
00:18:07,916 --> 00:18:10,125
I always knew you had it in you.

379
00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:13,541
[music ends]

380
00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:16,000
Wow. Where did that come from?

381
00:18:17,083 --> 00:18:20,541
I'm done doing things their way.
I'm in charge now. So…

382
00:18:20,625 --> 00:18:22,458
[moaning, groaning]

383
00:18:22,541 --> 00:18:25,583
Hey, you're not supposed to pee
on office furniture.

384
00:18:25,666 --> 00:18:27,875
I learned that like an hour
after becoming a cat.

385
00:18:27,958 --> 00:18:30,250
[gasping] I'm not peeing, you idiot!

386
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:32,000
I'm going into labor! [yelps]

387
00:18:32,083 --> 00:18:34,916
Labor? You're pregnant?
When did that happen?

388
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,500
Argh! Remember my cousin's wedding?

389
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:38,875
[romantic music playing]

390
00:18:40,250 --> 00:18:41,750
Oh. Hell yeah. [chuckles]

391
00:18:41,833 --> 00:18:44,708
Snap out of it!
We don't have time for a steamy flashback.

392
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,500
-[stomach grumbling]
-[groaning]

393
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:50,875
Whoa! Anti-Christ on a cracker.
This is really happening.

394
00:18:50,958 --> 00:18:54,333
Okay, who do I know
that knows how to deliver a cat baby?

395
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:58,000
Wait. Abbie!
We've got to get back down to Earth.

396
00:18:58,083 --> 00:18:59,375
[dramatic music playing]

397
00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:01,291
Mmm… Bubedy bubedy bup!

398
00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:04,041
Gah! A little help!

399
00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:05,833
[music continues]

400
00:19:07,166 --> 00:19:09,250
Everyone, hop on. We're going home.

401
00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:10,708
[moaning]

402
00:19:12,583 --> 00:19:14,541
Whoa. Hi, kids!

403
00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:17,958
Abbie, Marv, Devilcat's pregnant,
and I'm the father.

404
00:19:18,041 --> 00:19:19,083
[Devilcat groaning]

405
00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:22,583
Hey, congratulations.

406
00:19:22,666 --> 00:19:25,083
Now what's with all the fire
and destruction?

407
00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:27,375
Oh, is this a gender-reveal party?

408
00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:29,625
Agh! No, dingus, I'm in labor!

409
00:19:29,708 --> 00:19:32,375
Marv, boots, bungee cords, toilet plunger.

410
00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:35,250
[in demonic voice] You did this to me!

411
00:19:35,333 --> 00:19:36,833
Take my paw!

412
00:19:36,916 --> 00:19:38,666
Probably a bad time to ask,

413
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:41,666
but does this technically make us
boyfriend, girlfriend, or…

414
00:19:41,750 --> 00:19:42,875
[retching]

415
00:19:42,958 --> 00:19:45,208
Yeah, let's put a pin in that for now.

416
00:19:45,291 --> 00:19:47,333
[intense moaning, groaning]

417
00:19:51,708 --> 00:19:53,166
[dramatic music playing]

418
00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:55,000
[coughs, groans]

419
00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:57,833
[groaning]

420
00:19:59,875 --> 00:20:01,333
[alarm sounding]

421
00:20:10,791 --> 00:20:15,333
Gee, I wonder if today will be the day
I get chosen to destroy a planet.

422
00:20:15,416 --> 00:20:17,875
Pfft. Wouldn't count on it, kid.

423
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:20,416
[rumbling]

424
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,375
[music continues]

425
00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:26,791
Here I go to kill and destroy.

426
00:20:31,375 --> 00:20:33,750
Ah, you guys… look!

427
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:36,041
[dramatic music playing]

428
00:20:36,125 --> 00:20:37,541
-[people screaming]
-[horn blaring]

429
00:20:37,625 --> 00:20:39,625
[screaming]

430
00:20:40,375 --> 00:20:43,625
I don't understand.
I thought Devilcat stopped the apocalypse.

431
00:20:43,708 --> 00:20:46,333
[gasps] Someone must have survived
and hit the button.

432
00:20:46,416 --> 00:20:49,875
All right. The first time I prayed to you
might've been a misunderstanding,

433
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:52,250
but this one is the real deal.

434
00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:54,416
A legit bona fide prayer.

435
00:20:55,291 --> 00:20:56,541
Dear God,

436
00:20:57,333 --> 00:20:59,500
save us from that thing!

437
00:20:59,583 --> 00:21:02,916
I would, but it needs
to be destroyed in orbit.

438
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,500
And last I checked,
I'm a cat, not a space dragon.

439
00:21:06,583 --> 00:21:08,541
Space dragon, you say.

440
00:21:08,625 --> 00:21:10,041
[gasps] I have an idea.

441
00:21:11,041 --> 00:21:12,500
What the hell is that?

442
00:21:12,583 --> 00:21:15,375
It looks like an Apollo Lander
made by Garbage Pail Kids.

443
00:21:15,458 --> 00:21:18,416
The biggest problem is
I don't have enough propellant to launch.

444
00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,625
Turns out rockets are ten stories high
for a reason.

445
00:21:20,708 --> 00:21:24,083
Godcat, can't you generate
some sort of magic God energy?

446
00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:25,833
Aren't you like a holy USB brick?

447
00:21:25,916 --> 00:21:28,000
What about the power of love?

448
00:21:28,083 --> 00:21:33,250
Maybe if everyone started loving you
super hard, you'd sprout angel wings.

449
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:35,916
That's actually the secret
to beating the Twilight board game.

450
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,791
Those are both
the dumbest things I've ever…

451
00:21:38,875 --> 00:21:42,375
Wait. Angel wings, USB brick…

452
00:21:42,458 --> 00:21:45,333
Marv, Travis, you're geniuses.

453
00:21:45,416 --> 00:21:47,250
-[line rings, beeps]
-Dear God, it's me.

454
00:21:47,333 --> 00:21:49,666
Get the cherubs down here now!

455
00:21:49,750 --> 00:21:50,666
[mystical tone]

456
00:21:50,750 --> 00:21:53,041
[laughing] Hey, buddy. Um…

457
00:21:53,125 --> 00:21:55,833
We're super sorry about what happened.
We didn't know--

458
00:21:55,916 --> 00:21:57,625
Shut it. There's no time for that.

459
00:21:57,708 --> 00:22:00,333
You two are made of pure divine energy,

460
00:22:00,416 --> 00:22:03,708
and for once in your stupid lives,
you're going to help me.

461
00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:07,250
I want to say I love you,
but there's no time.

462
00:22:07,875 --> 00:22:09,916
Also, I assume I'll feel weird
about it later,

463
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,250
and it'll be awkward
when we say goodbye on the phone.

464
00:22:12,333 --> 00:22:13,375
Okay, bye.

465
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:15,416
-Mmm… Ah!
-[epic music playing]

466
00:22:26,416 --> 00:22:27,416
[music ends]

467
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:30,875
♪ She'll be riding six white horses
She'll be riding six white horses ♪

468
00:22:30,958 --> 00:22:33,791
♪ She'll be riding six white horses
When she comes ♪

469
00:22:33,875 --> 00:22:35,500
♪ Yee-haw! ♪

470
00:22:35,583 --> 00:22:37,583
[epic music stops]

471
00:22:45,041 --> 00:22:48,250
Armageddon, meet arm.

472
00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:50,708
Aw, look, a kitty cat.

473
00:22:50,791 --> 00:22:53,458
Hello, little kitty cat.

474
00:22:53,541 --> 00:22:57,833
I'm just so gosh darn excited
to kill your entire planet.

475
00:22:57,916 --> 00:22:58,750
Nope.

476
00:22:58,833 --> 00:23:00,666
[yelling]

477
00:23:04,625 --> 00:23:05,791
[music ends]

478
00:23:05,875 --> 00:23:06,833
[Abbie] He did it!

479
00:23:06,916 --> 00:23:08,583
Godcat saved us!

480
00:23:08,666 --> 00:23:09,791
[all cheering]

481
00:23:09,875 --> 00:23:11,875
Godcat, yeah!

482
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:14,291
Wait, where's Godcat?

483
00:23:14,375 --> 00:23:15,250
Is he…?

484
00:23:15,750 --> 00:23:18,000
He… He can't be.

485
00:23:18,083 --> 00:23:20,541
-[soft music playing]
-[Godcat screaming]

486
00:23:28,166 --> 00:23:30,208
[laughing]

487
00:23:30,291 --> 00:23:34,958
I did it. I have mastered endoscopy!

488
00:23:35,041 --> 00:23:36,708
[all] Empathy!

489
00:23:36,791 --> 00:23:39,250
Oh, whatever. You knew what I meant.

490
00:23:39,333 --> 00:23:43,166
And I did it all
because the damned family came together.

491
00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:44,416
Godcat's right.

492
00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:47,708
We finally came together as a team,
and it worked.

493
00:23:47,791 --> 00:23:49,958
You know, I always thought of you guys

494
00:23:50,041 --> 00:23:53,000
as the extras in the background
of my live streams.

495
00:23:53,083 --> 00:23:56,708
But now, I see how each of you are cool
and interesting in your own--

496
00:23:56,791 --> 00:24:00,666
Will you shut the **** up and help me?
This baby wants out!

497
00:24:00,750 --> 00:24:02,333
-[heavy metal music playing]
-[groaning]

498
00:24:02,416 --> 00:24:04,541
[thunder rumbling]

499
00:24:04,625 --> 00:24:07,625
I think it's happening! Everyone, hold on!

500
00:24:07,708 --> 00:24:09,041
Here it comes.

501
00:24:09,125 --> 00:24:10,916
Wait. No.

502
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,625
Here they come!

503
00:24:12,708 --> 00:24:15,041
-[music continues]
-[screaming]

504
00:24:17,041 --> 00:24:19,041
[meowing]

505
00:24:31,541 --> 00:24:35,041
Holy mother of God!

506
00:24:35,625 --> 00:24:37,625
[closing theme music playing]

507
00:25:23,625 --> 00:25:25,500
[music ends]