1
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,333
[video game music playing]

2
00:00:13,333 --> 00:00:15,125
[game narrator] Steal Truck Drive Drive!

3
00:00:17,041 --> 00:00:18,625
[woman] Ouch! My hip!

4
00:00:18,708 --> 00:00:20,041
[man] Ow! My butthole!

5
00:00:23,541 --> 00:00:24,666
Oh! My colon!

6
00:00:24,750 --> 00:00:27,375
[game narrator]
Achievement unlocked. Punched a bald dude.

7
00:00:28,875 --> 00:00:32,333
Good morning, Travis.
From your unlocked achievements,

8
00:00:32,416 --> 00:00:36,541
it looks like you knee-capped a pimp
with a sack of doorknobs.

9
00:00:36,625 --> 00:00:37,875
Good for you.

10
00:00:38,958 --> 00:00:41,958
[game narrator] Achievement unlocked.
Disrespected a college education.

11
00:00:42,041 --> 00:00:45,125
So, tell me, how's Travis's day going?

12
00:00:45,208 --> 00:00:46,250
[sighs] Bad.

13
00:00:46,333 --> 00:00:49,458
My family didn't even remember
today's my half-birthday.

14
00:00:49,541 --> 00:00:52,416
Your half-birthday? What's a half--

15
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:54,458
-[banging on door]
-[grunting]

16
00:00:54,541 --> 00:00:55,833
Die, Stillwell.

17
00:00:57,083 --> 00:00:58,333
[gasping]

18
00:00:58,416 --> 00:01:01,083
Sorry. He's from a rival therapy practice.

19
00:01:01,166 --> 00:01:03,041
Please, continue.

20
00:01:03,125 --> 00:01:07,541
See, my actual birthday is on Christmas,
which means I get totally shafted.

21
00:01:07,625 --> 00:01:09,333
So, this year, I asked my mom

22
00:01:09,416 --> 00:01:12,000
if-- if we could celebrate
my half-birthday instead.

23
00:01:12,083 --> 00:01:13,750
But does she listen? No.

24
00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:16,500
Just went in one ear
and out that same ear.

25
00:01:16,583 --> 00:01:19,416
[game narrator] Achievement unlocked.
Was vulnerable during therapy.

26
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,333
So, anyhow,
I bought one of those body pillows

27
00:01:25,416 --> 00:01:27,916
that pregnant ladies sleep with,
and when I'm alone--

28
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,791
Oops. Wi-Fi's breaking up. Gotta go.

29
00:01:30,375 --> 00:01:33,458
Ew. I touched that pillow.

30
00:01:33,541 --> 00:01:35,541
[theme music playing]

31
00:01:41,958 --> 00:01:43,375
[bear growling]

32
00:01:44,083 --> 00:01:47,000
Whoo-hoo!

33
00:01:47,083 --> 00:01:49,458
Holy hell, I was good at my job.

34
00:01:49,541 --> 00:01:54,083
On the sixth day, I not only created
butterflies but also grizzly bears.

35
00:01:54,166 --> 00:01:57,458
That's like reading poetry
while wanking at the same time.

36
00:01:57,541 --> 00:01:58,625
[bear growling continues]

37
00:01:58,708 --> 00:02:00,125
Looking for family fun?

38
00:02:00,208 --> 00:02:03,250
Well, look no further
than Shane & Chugger's.

39
00:02:03,333 --> 00:02:08,333
Hot games, cold beer, tepid cheese,
and technically edible Cajun cuisine.

40
00:02:08,416 --> 00:02:09,958
Yeehaw!

41
00:02:10,041 --> 00:02:14,000
This! See? This is what is so frustrating.

42
00:02:14,083 --> 00:02:16,125
I painstakingly create a planet

43
00:02:16,208 --> 00:02:18,791
where there's a worm
that goes into a sleeping bag,

44
00:02:18,875 --> 00:02:22,000
then comes out with wings
that are stained-glass windows.

45
00:02:22,083 --> 00:02:24,291
Then you idiots fill it with this crap.

46
00:02:24,375 --> 00:02:28,375
Shane & Chugger's? Looks like
they gave hepatitis its own restaurant.

47
00:02:28,458 --> 00:02:30,666
Travis is always asking to go there,

48
00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:33,000
but I can't afford to blow
an entire afternoon

49
00:02:33,083 --> 00:02:34,416
spending time with my son.

50
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:37,208
Well, makes sense. That place looks like
the inside of his brain.

51
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,458
[panting] Marv, emergency.

52
00:02:39,541 --> 00:02:42,583
Today is Travis's half-birthday,
and he told his therapist

53
00:02:42,666 --> 00:02:45,458
that it's the most important thing
in the world.

54
00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:48,500
Therapist?
Our insurance doesn't cover therapy.

55
00:02:48,583 --> 00:02:51,500
Wh-- Why do you think I scream
into the toilet every night before bed?

56
00:02:51,583 --> 00:02:53,875
[grunts] Okay, fine, you got me.

57
00:02:53,958 --> 00:02:57,416
I created an avatar
so I can pose as Travis's therapist

58
00:02:57,500 --> 00:03:00,416
in his Drive-Kill game
to know what's going on in his life.

59
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:04,625
Abbie! Th-- That's a total invasion
of Travis's privacy.

60
00:03:04,708 --> 00:03:07,000
A teenage boy isn't gonna open up
to his mom.

61
00:03:07,083 --> 00:03:10,083
Anyway, we need
to throw Travis an amazing party

62
00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:13,333
if we want to accomplish
Operation Happy Family.

63
00:03:13,416 --> 00:03:17,666
Do we have to treat every family activity
like a military mission?

64
00:03:17,750 --> 00:03:20,083
I mean, It was bad enough
when you used to scream,

65
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:22,083
"Operation Reproduction!"

66
00:03:22,166 --> 00:03:26,333
What? So a birthday party on his
actual birthday isn't enough for the kid?

67
00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:29,000
[all singing] ♪ Happy birthday ♪

68
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,833
♪ Happy birthday… ♪

69
00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:34,625
Wait a minute.

70
00:03:34,708 --> 00:03:38,333
Formerly broken family comes together
to throw pointless party

71
00:03:38,416 --> 00:03:39,541
to make child happy.

72
00:03:39,625 --> 00:03:42,583
This is exactly
what I need to show the board

73
00:03:42,666 --> 00:03:46,000
what a great job I've done
to bring your pathetic family closer.

74
00:03:46,875 --> 00:03:48,208
Dear God, please help me.

75
00:03:48,291 --> 00:03:49,166
[line rings, beeps]

76
00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:50,708
Hey, Cheryl. It's me.

77
00:03:50,791 --> 00:03:52,750
Send the cherubs down
for a performance review.

78
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,541
[female operator]
Welcome to the prayer line.

79
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,083
If a sports team you bet on

80
00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:58,625
isn't covering the point spread,
press "one."

81
00:03:58,708 --> 00:04:01,750
If you just got back
from Cancun and it burns when you--

82
00:04:01,833 --> 00:04:03,916
Ugh! Representative.

83
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:04,958
[beeps]

84
00:04:05,041 --> 00:04:06,375
Main menu.

85
00:04:06,458 --> 00:04:07,541
[beeps]

86
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,875
-Happy half-birthday!
-Happy half-birthday!

87
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,333
You know it's my half-birthday?

88
00:04:12,416 --> 00:04:17,000
Of course. We've been planning your party
for weeks, ya silly goose.

89
00:04:17,083 --> 00:04:20,458
Yeah. Since… um, half-Veterans Day.

90
00:04:20,541 --> 00:04:23,875
Can it be like Aidan's birthday party,
where we demolished a giant piñata,

91
00:04:23,958 --> 00:04:26,500
and his stepdad let us shoot
bottle rockets into traffic?

92
00:04:26,583 --> 00:04:30,166
Sure. We know
how important this is to you,

93
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:32,166
so it's important to us.

94
00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:35,125
Huh, wow. Oh. I'm gonna go call Aidan!

95
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:37,958
Dude! Dude! Dude! Dude!
My parents are throwing me a rager.

96
00:04:38,041 --> 00:04:40,666
Bring over that list
of new swear words you came up with.

97
00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:43,416
It's gonna be lit, you butt guzzler!

98
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:46,458
Okay, we have one hour
to set up the kind of mind-blowing rager

99
00:04:46,541 --> 00:04:48,541
that will show our son that we love him.

100
00:04:48,625 --> 00:04:51,791
Abbie, as someone who's been
to many a mind-blowing rager

101
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:55,750
and a handful of fairly epic Google Meets,
we just can't pull it off.

102
00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:58,416
Marv, I can't do this without you.

103
00:04:58,500 --> 00:04:59,750
We are a team.

104
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,916
Did my SEAL team say,
"We can't pull it off"

105
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,250
when we were ordered
to blow up the Pope? No!

106
00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:06,541
We did it, and we blamed it on a volcano.

107
00:05:06,625 --> 00:05:10,166
Yeah, I don't think you're supposed
to be telling me this stuff, hon.

108
00:05:10,250 --> 00:05:11,500
[soft music playing]

109
00:05:13,666 --> 00:05:16,541
[Godcat humming, grunting]

110
00:05:18,125 --> 00:05:19,625
Perfect.

111
00:05:19,708 --> 00:05:21,041
Happiest family on earth.

112
00:05:21,125 --> 00:05:22,541
[computer chiming]

113
00:05:22,625 --> 00:05:24,583
Godcat? I'm trying to reach Father.

114
00:05:24,666 --> 00:05:27,583
I need his hot glue gun again.
My hair is being unmanageable.

115
00:05:27,666 --> 00:05:30,416
Are you calling me from your room?
You could just come down here.

116
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:31,666
I prefer to telecommute.

117
00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:35,500
In today's world, there's no logical need
for interpersonal physical interaction.

118
00:05:35,583 --> 00:05:38,666
Well, I sometimes frequent a club
out by the Heaven Airport

119
00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:40,875
that says you're wrong. Marv's busy.

120
00:05:40,958 --> 00:05:44,958
Your folks are throwing Travis
a half-birthday party later today.

121
00:05:45,041 --> 00:05:46,041
-[chuckles]
-What?

122
00:05:46,125 --> 00:05:47,166
-[heavenly tone]
-[gasps]

123
00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,083
They're here!

124
00:05:49,375 --> 00:05:50,625
[mystical music playing]

125
00:05:53,166 --> 00:05:55,750
Hey, GC. What's good?

126
00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:58,625
That's how humans say
"how are ya" colloquially.

127
00:05:58,708 --> 00:06:01,041
We brushed up
so we could fit in down here.

128
00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:03,041
What's good, guys?

129
00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:07,500
How are things up at the old bless-mess?
Total crap show without me, I bet? Huh?

130
00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:09,000
Oh, big-time.

131
00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:11,416
We need you back up there pronto, boss.

132
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:15,500
But you know, got to really prove yourself
to the board first. Right? So lame.

133
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:18,875
Well, that's exactly
what I called you guys down for.

134
00:06:18,958 --> 00:06:22,083
Once you see
how this family has come together, you--

135
00:06:22,166 --> 00:06:23,291
[Godcat grunts]

136
00:06:25,458 --> 00:06:29,416
Is that strawberry sherbet
with a serotonin swirl?

137
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:30,458
[smacking lips]

138
00:06:30,541 --> 00:06:34,083
Mmm! Mmm! Yum. Sweet ride, guys.

139
00:06:34,166 --> 00:06:37,333
Ha! This isn't just a sweet ride.

140
00:06:37,416 --> 00:06:40,541
-It's the 2024 XRC Unicorn Deluxe.
-[revving]

141
00:06:40,625 --> 00:06:43,541
One horsepower,
platinum hooves, rainbow interior.

142
00:06:43,625 --> 00:06:45,833
This is the only unicorn like this
in all of Heaven.

143
00:06:45,916 --> 00:06:47,666
Borrowed it from the VIP stable.

144
00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:50,375
Mmm, hope there's room
on that unicorn for a third,

145
00:06:50,458 --> 00:06:53,958
'cause I got a feeling after you guys see
the work I've done down here,

146
00:06:54,041 --> 00:06:56,291
I am gonna need a ride back home.

147
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:59,958
Well, there is a suicide seat
that folds out from the butt cheeks,

148
00:07:00,041 --> 00:07:02,250
and the you-know-what
becomes a cup holder.

149
00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:04,208
Well then, shotgun! [laughs]

150
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:06,041
Okay, let's head in.

151
00:07:09,625 --> 00:07:11,833
-[farting]
-[sparkle tone]

152
00:07:11,916 --> 00:07:14,333
[Abbie] Come on, the clock is ticking.

153
00:07:14,416 --> 00:07:16,416
We have to make it look like
we put real effort

154
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:18,000
into throwing Travis this party.

155
00:07:18,083 --> 00:07:19,208
Now, up a little.

156
00:07:19,291 --> 00:07:21,041
My up or, or, or your up?

157
00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:23,291
Same up, Marv!

158
00:07:23,375 --> 00:07:25,791
Are they always screaming
at each other like that?

159
00:07:25,875 --> 00:07:29,833
Um… Sure, yes.
That was an idea I came up with.

160
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:31,458
"Loud is love."

161
00:07:31,541 --> 00:07:33,625
I love you guys too!

162
00:07:34,583 --> 00:07:38,666
Oh, and here's Greta,
lending a hand to throw this party

163
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:41,291
for the brother she now loves
because of me.

164
00:07:41,375 --> 00:07:44,125
The only thing I love
about Travis is that he's a deep sleeper.

165
00:07:44,208 --> 00:07:46,416
I've been feeding him spiders
and glow sticks at night

166
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,250
to try to create a new superhero.

167
00:07:49,708 --> 00:07:50,875
[Marv screaming, grunting]

168
00:07:50,958 --> 00:07:52,708
These are the party decorations?

169
00:07:52,791 --> 00:07:54,833
Uh… Don't you get the theme?

170
00:07:54,916 --> 00:08:00,208
It's a half-birthday party,
so everything is half-assed! Doy.

171
00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:02,458
[chuckles] Oh. Great idea!

172
00:08:02,541 --> 00:08:05,375
I'll put out some stale Pringles
and warm Sprite.

173
00:08:05,958 --> 00:08:08,250
We need more time. Take Travis somewhere.

174
00:08:08,333 --> 00:08:10,416
Also, while you're out,
can you grab some wine?

175
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:11,833
I need a mixer for my vodka.

176
00:08:11,916 --> 00:08:15,958
And leave the cherubs here to witness
how your trainwreck of a family interacts?

177
00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:16,875
No way.

178
00:08:16,958 --> 00:08:18,041
Take them too.

179
00:08:18,125 --> 00:08:22,208
Show them all the breathtaking creations
you're always bragging about.

180
00:08:22,291 --> 00:08:23,916
Actually, that's a decent idea.

181
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,250
I can show them some
of the majesty I created.

182
00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:28,833
Have them remind the board
what kind of high-end product

183
00:08:28,916 --> 00:08:30,666
the GOAT put out back in the day.

184
00:08:31,250 --> 00:08:32,500
Guess what, Trav?

185
00:08:32,583 --> 00:08:34,291
We got together with Godcat

186
00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:38,375
and came up with a fun activity
for your big half-day.

187
00:08:38,458 --> 00:08:39,625
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

188
00:08:39,708 --> 00:08:44,208
Oh man, I've been waiting my whole life
to have my own special day.

189
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:48,791
Huh. Oh man, you guys are wearing diapers?
I can't wait to find out why.

190
00:08:48,875 --> 00:08:50,583
This day's gonna be so sick!

191
00:08:52,291 --> 00:08:53,666
[mysterious music playing]

192
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,291
[Beelzebub] Slagnar, if I may,

193
00:08:55,375 --> 00:08:58,375
I had one idea I wanted to pitch
in this week's board meeting.

194
00:08:58,458 --> 00:09:00,916
Yes, Beelzebub. We're all ears.

195
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,583
Ha. This ought to be idiotic.

196
00:09:03,666 --> 00:09:06,750
Okay, what if instead of torturing souls

197
00:09:06,833 --> 00:09:09,916
with spikes and fire
and all that lame junk,

198
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:14,500
we make them try to fold a fitted sheet?

199
00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:18,541
And we can get a great price on them.
As you know, we own IKEA, so…

200
00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:23,125
Enough! We got it.
We'll put our best guy on it. Dan.

201
00:09:23,208 --> 00:09:25,208
[flies buzzing]

202
00:09:25,291 --> 00:09:28,666
Isn't Dan just a head
on a stick we use to scare people?

203
00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:33,083
For now, sure. But everyone's got to start
somewhere. Okay, bye.

204
00:09:33,166 --> 00:09:34,000
[beeping tone]

205
00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:35,666
Ugh!

206
00:09:35,750 --> 00:09:38,791
I should've done what other demons do
when they're cast out of Hell.

207
00:09:38,875 --> 00:09:40,416
Open a Jimmy John's.

208
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,625
[ominous music playing]

209
00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:50,333
Hah!

210
00:09:50,416 --> 00:09:53,041
Okay. There goes the neighborhood.

211
00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:56,208
Oh, you're kidding me. Another person?!

212
00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:58,708
And one of them has a Hacky Sack.

213
00:09:59,208 --> 00:10:04,166
Everyone knows that Hacky Sacks
are actually marijuana purses!

214
00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:05,083
[line dialing]

215
00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:09,541
Hello. This is Karen, and--
Don't say "again" like that.

216
00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:12,791
I have every right
to call whenever I want.

217
00:10:12,875 --> 00:10:17,000
I just thought maybe you should know
there's an unapproved party

218
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,000
happening in our neighborhood.

219
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:21,666
You'll "look into it"!

220
00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:23,000
[music intensifies]

221
00:10:23,083 --> 00:10:26,333
I will just have to take matters
into my own hands!

222
00:10:28,583 --> 00:10:29,500
[music ends]

223
00:10:30,625 --> 00:10:33,041
Now that lady is evil!

224
00:10:33,125 --> 00:10:37,625
She's like if Genghis Khan worked
at Lululemon. Hey, Karen, wait up!

225
00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:39,500
[birds chirping]

226
00:10:39,583 --> 00:10:43,250
Now come on, tell us,
which one of you posed for this one?

227
00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:45,500
I think it has Aslandeus' playful spirit,

228
00:10:45,583 --> 00:10:47,458
but the wiener
definitely looks like Craig's.

229
00:10:47,541 --> 00:10:49,833
[sighing] Can we go somewhere fun now?

230
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:52,583
I think I've seen
enough marble testicles for one day.

231
00:10:52,666 --> 00:10:54,750
But look at all this natural wonder.

232
00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:55,833
[heavenly music playing]

233
00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:57,583
Look at this busy little bee,

234
00:10:57,666 --> 00:11:01,583
upholding our entire ecosystem
by the simple act of pollination.

235
00:11:01,666 --> 00:11:04,458
Frankly, sir,
that was a bit of a design flaw.

236
00:11:04,541 --> 00:11:05,958
Well, I couldn't have anticipated

237
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:09,083
that the stupid humans would figure out
a way to actually kill bees.

238
00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:13,041
I gave them swords for butts.
Doesn't that seem like enough protection?

239
00:11:13,125 --> 00:11:16,000
Okay. Okay. Let's go into the museum.

240
00:11:16,083 --> 00:11:17,708
A museum? [sighing]

241
00:11:17,791 --> 00:11:22,541
A museum is the most boring thing
that can happen to a human being.

242
00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:24,625
Okay, buddy.

243
00:11:24,708 --> 00:11:27,958
Tell Unky Godcat what you wanna do.

244
00:11:28,041 --> 00:11:32,708
I know. How about we go down to the woods
and feed some deer to the bears?

245
00:11:34,125 --> 00:11:34,958
No way.

246
00:11:35,041 --> 00:11:38,083
No. No. No, we are not going there.

247
00:11:38,791 --> 00:11:39,833
[Godcat] So, guys…

248
00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:40,958
[chuckling]

249
00:11:41,041 --> 00:11:44,416
Obviously, I made
the most exquisite planet of all time.

250
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:47,500
Sunsets, cheetahs, tiki bars--
You know my hits.

251
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:50,083
But this place… not on me.

252
00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:52,166
The humans are totally to blame for--

253
00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:55,541
Oh man, oh man, oh man, I am so pumped!

254
00:11:55,625 --> 00:11:58,625
They have a game where you guide
a healthy adult through a Bass Pro Shop

255
00:11:58,708 --> 00:12:01,250
and see how quickly you can reduce his IQ!

256
00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:04,000
It's called "Living in Arizona."

257
00:12:04,083 --> 00:12:05,458
[chuckling] Travis,

258
00:12:05,541 --> 00:12:08,625
obviously Aslandeus and Craig
aren't interested in--

259
00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:11,250
[Aslandeus] Whoo!
It's like a rat casino for children!

260
00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:14,708
Okay, but one hour tops,
and then we're going home.

261
00:12:14,791 --> 00:12:16,750
Aslandeus, no running!

262
00:12:17,458 --> 00:12:19,583
I wasn't sure
what to get for a half-birthday.

263
00:12:19,666 --> 00:12:22,500
All I could find was a box set
of Two and a Half Men

264
00:12:22,583 --> 00:12:24,166
and a dozen cartons of half-and-half.

265
00:12:24,250 --> 00:12:26,125
-[Unicorn neighing]
-[Marv gasping]

266
00:12:26,208 --> 00:12:28,250
That thing came out of nowhere!

267
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:29,875
[Abbie] Ahh!

268
00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:32,791
Oh no, it's not breathing.

269
00:12:33,541 --> 00:12:34,458
[exhales frantically]

270
00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:36,583
Come on, live, damn you.

271
00:12:36,666 --> 00:12:38,166
[exhaling continues]

272
00:12:39,166 --> 00:12:40,791
[gagging, grunting]

273
00:12:40,875 --> 00:12:43,208
Its mouth tastes like Starburst. [gags]

274
00:12:43,291 --> 00:12:45,500
How is that possibly worse
than horse mouth?

275
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,333
[Abbie grunting]

276
00:12:50,833 --> 00:12:53,541
Meh, figures.
Happens every time I get a car wash.

277
00:12:53,625 --> 00:12:57,541
Agh! This is all Godcat's fault.
If he hadn't summoned those cherubs down--

278
00:12:57,625 --> 00:12:59,250
-[door opens]
-[both exclaim]

279
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:00,333
[dramatic music playing]

280
00:13:00,416 --> 00:13:03,333
Ugh, Mother, for the last time,

281
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,291
please stop bringing home roadkill
for dinner.

282
00:13:05,375 --> 00:13:07,541
This isn't for dinner. Well, it could be.

283
00:13:07,625 --> 00:13:10,041
Depends if I have sour cream
in the fridge. Ugh!

284
00:13:10,125 --> 00:13:13,583
Your father hit it with the car.
Just grab me the jumper cables.

285
00:13:13,666 --> 00:13:15,375
Mother, tell me you're not attempting

286
00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:17,916
to defibrillate a unicorn
with jumper cables.

287
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,583
Well, what the hell would you use
to restart a unicorn heart?

288
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:22,791
Jolly Ranchers and Christmas lights?

289
00:13:22,875 --> 00:13:25,250
-[doorbell ringing]
-[Abbie groans]

290
00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:26,166
[Greta] I got it.

291
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:27,125
[Karen] Hmm.

292
00:13:27,208 --> 00:13:31,041
Buckle up, Greta. Hurricane Karen
is headed straight for you.

293
00:13:31,125 --> 00:13:34,791
I've never seen a creature this evil,
and I've been to a taping of Ellen.

294
00:13:34,875 --> 00:13:35,875
Excuse me.

295
00:13:35,958 --> 00:13:38,666
-Young lady, are your parents home?
-Yes.

296
00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:41,208
Well, they're not supposed
to be throwing a party

297
00:13:41,291 --> 00:13:44,333
without written consent
from the Neighborhood Council.

298
00:13:44,416 --> 00:13:47,041
-I agree.
-How dare you call me that.

299
00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:50,291
I-- Wait, what? You agree?

300
00:13:50,375 --> 00:13:52,833
Yes. I abhor the idea of this "party."

301
00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:55,250
It's a celebration
of my brother's half-birthday.

302
00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:57,625
In my opinion, the only time we should
celebrate Travis

303
00:13:57,708 --> 00:13:59,708
is when he finally stops eating chapstick.

304
00:13:59,791 --> 00:14:03,958
Well… uh, regardless,
you can't have this many guests--

305
00:14:04,041 --> 00:14:07,291
…on one's property, regardless
of plot size, per Section 7C of…

306
00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:09,000
…the HOA agreement.

307
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:13,125
I'm as shocked and appalled as you are,
but as a minor, there's nothing I can do.

308
00:14:13,208 --> 00:14:16,375
Why not come in? We'll work together
to present evidence to the HOA.

309
00:14:16,458 --> 00:14:18,666
I… Well… You…

310
00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:21,416
But I would like to speak to your…

311
00:14:22,708 --> 00:14:24,291
Okay. Sure.

312
00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:27,833
[Karen sighing]

313
00:14:28,791 --> 00:14:30,333
Damn! How'd you do that?

314
00:14:30,416 --> 00:14:31,250
It's simple.

315
00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:34,208
Karen requires conflict to survive,
and I've deprived her of it.

316
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:36,625
Soon, she will shrivel and die.

317
00:14:36,708 --> 00:14:38,541
[chuckling] Easy.

318
00:14:38,625 --> 00:14:42,541
You do know she's making
those Hacky Sack kids pee in a cup, right?

319
00:14:42,625 --> 00:14:43,708
Oh, for chrissakes.

320
00:14:44,208 --> 00:14:45,708
[game machines pinging]

321
00:14:47,166 --> 00:14:50,041
[groaning]

322
00:14:51,041 --> 00:14:55,041
I don't believe this.
Is this the culmination of human creation?

323
00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,083
Is this what they’ve done
with the free will

324
00:14:57,166 --> 00:14:59,708
I so kindly bestowed upon them?

325
00:14:59,791 --> 00:15:01,875
[grunting] Come here!

326
00:15:01,958 --> 00:15:04,041
You're not my father!

327
00:15:04,125 --> 00:15:05,583
[gulping]

328
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:07,166
[belches]

329
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,000
[grunting, chuckling]

330
00:15:10,791 --> 00:15:12,166
See ya.

331
00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:13,625
[grunts] Goodbye.

332
00:15:14,208 --> 00:15:17,791
I should put the whole planet up
on Zillow. See if I get any bites.

333
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:20,083
-Well, hello there, mon ami!
-[yowls]

334
00:15:20,166 --> 00:15:24,166
At Shane & Chugger's,
everything is ça c’est bon!

335
00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:27,958
What sort of Hell-demon
manifested this freak of nature?

336
00:15:28,041 --> 00:15:30,958
Certainly wasn’t me.
Unless it was that third day.

337
00:15:31,041 --> 00:15:32,666
One too many whippets on Day Three.

338
00:15:32,750 --> 00:15:35,666
Why doncha come on
down to the bayou some time?

339
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:37,500
[distorted] Yeehaw.

340
00:15:37,583 --> 00:15:40,291
I'm not going anywhere with you,
swamp rat.

341
00:15:40,375 --> 00:15:42,083
Do you know what my day has been like?

342
00:15:42,166 --> 00:15:43,583
Repeatedly facing the reality

343
00:15:43,666 --> 00:15:46,083
that the magnificence I forged
means nothing,

344
00:15:46,166 --> 00:15:50,750
and all humans appreciate is flat beer,
blinking lights, and chemical cheese?

345
00:15:50,833 --> 00:15:53,583
Laissez les bontemps roulez!

346
00:15:53,666 --> 00:15:56,000
How dare you tell me what to do.

347
00:15:56,083 --> 00:15:59,208
And in French,
a language I made up as a silly joke.

348
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,083
-[thuds]
-[machine ringing]

349
00:16:01,791 --> 00:16:03,333
[gasping, grunting]

350
00:16:03,416 --> 00:16:05,041
[mouse squeaking]

351
00:16:05,791 --> 00:16:06,791
[grunting]

352
00:16:06,875 --> 00:16:09,500
Holy Chugger's, that felt good.

353
00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:11,458
-[Godcat laughing]
-[mouse squeaking]

354
00:16:11,541 --> 00:16:13,541
[laughing]

355
00:16:18,708 --> 00:16:21,250
Interesting shirt choice.

356
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:26,166
Did you know that Bob Marley used pot?

357
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:28,083
Yeah. Wanna guess how he ended up?

358
00:16:28,666 --> 00:16:29,875
[in demonic voice] Dead!

359
00:16:30,833 --> 00:16:32,916
[in normal voice]
Not from pot. From cancer.

360
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,500
We actually read his biography
in my book club.

361
00:16:36,041 --> 00:16:37,500
-[Abbie] Clear!
-[defibrillating]

362
00:16:37,583 --> 00:16:38,416
Hmm.

363
00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:41,125
Karen, I’ve been looking for you.

364
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:45,166
So far, I’ve counted
a half-dozen HOA violations in this house.

365
00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:49,500
Expired coupons, a chandelier
with mismatched bulbs, dust bunnies.

366
00:16:49,583 --> 00:16:51,708
[sniffing] And what's that odor?

367
00:16:51,791 --> 00:16:54,708
It smells like
the Lip Smacker factory burned down.

368
00:16:54,791 --> 00:16:56,000
-Uh--
-[yelps]

369
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,125
It's probably coming from the pantry.

370
00:16:58,208 --> 00:17:00,958
We used to have a chemical toilet in there
to save on the water bill.

371
00:17:01,041 --> 00:17:03,541
Come on. Probably a ton of violations.

372
00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:05,708
Hmm.

373
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:06,625
[flies buzzing]

374
00:17:06,708 --> 00:17:08,291
We could try my wishing idea.

375
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:11,416
I-- I saw this movie called
The Last Unicorn.

376
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:13,666
We are not taking advice
from a kids' movie.

377
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:15,958
I mean, the plot is very advanced.

378
00:17:16,041 --> 00:17:19,208
A kid would have a pathetic grasp
on the political tensions

379
00:17:19,291 --> 00:17:20,541
of the Mushroom Planet.

380
00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:22,875
-[vehicle doors open, close]
-Dammit, they're back!

381
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,291
We promised Travis
the best half-birthday ever.

382
00:17:25,375 --> 00:17:27,916
Instead, we've got CSI: Narnia.

383
00:17:30,291 --> 00:17:31,458
[sighing]

384
00:17:31,541 --> 00:17:33,541
Great party. No piñata.

385
00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:35,041
There's barely any people here.

386
00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:37,291
And one of them is the kid
who accidentally called

387
00:17:37,375 --> 00:17:38,750
our math teacher "Mom."

388
00:17:38,833 --> 00:17:42,416
Oh, piñata shmiñata. Look at this turnout!

389
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,625
Six, maybe seven people.

390
00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:47,208
On Earth, that's a lot of people. [gasps]

391
00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:53,083
[laughing] Something's awry.

392
00:17:53,166 --> 00:17:56,000
Mm-hmm. In that garage.

393
00:17:56,083 --> 00:18:01,375
I'll call the HOA to get over here.
Let's meet in the driveway at 1700 hours.

394
00:18:01,458 --> 00:18:03,708
This is it, Greta. We got 'em!

395
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,125
[flies buzzing]

396
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:11,625
What do you mean you had an accident?

397
00:18:11,708 --> 00:18:13,541
"We had an accident."

398
00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:17,666
"I can’t keep my widdul wife togethaw
for two widdul houwaws."

399
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:19,208
"My bwain has no winkles."

400
00:18:19,291 --> 00:18:23,541
[laughing] Oh man!
That is a spot-on Abbie.

401
00:18:23,625 --> 00:18:24,791
Uh, okay, now do me.

402
00:18:24,875 --> 00:18:25,833
Ow.

403
00:18:25,916 --> 00:18:27,083
[grunting]

404
00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:29,333
Okay, update.
Karen's calling the authorities,

405
00:18:29,416 --> 00:18:30,833
and they'll be here any minute.

406
00:18:30,916 --> 00:18:35,291
Dammit! Do you have any idea
how screwed I am if the cherubs realize

407
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:38,708
that the family I was assigned to help
not only ruined their child’s party

408
00:18:38,791 --> 00:18:41,541
by killing their borrowed unicorn,
but also,

409
00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:43,750
they killed their borrowed unicorn!

410
00:18:44,375 --> 00:18:45,375
Hmm.

411
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,416
Wait. I have an idea.

412
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:48,916
[suspenseful music playing]

413
00:18:51,041 --> 00:18:53,125
-[heavenly tone]
-[hooves galloping]

414
00:18:53,791 --> 00:18:56,041
[horse neighing]

415
00:18:56,125 --> 00:19:00,583
Criminy! What does this thing eat?
Deep-fried kettlebells?

416
00:19:00,666 --> 00:19:03,625
Just a bit further.

417
00:19:03,708 --> 00:19:05,916
[skateboard wheels squeaking]

418
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,416
Hey, where's the XRC going?

419
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:10,083
[music warps]

420
00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:12,875
We're in position. Go! Go! Go!

421
00:19:15,083 --> 00:19:17,958
You know, you really shouldn't let
your pony eat that grass over there.

422
00:19:18,041 --> 00:19:21,416
Our neighbor Karen douses it
in all kinds of chemicals.

423
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:25,458
Come on. It's just a bit of grass.
What's the worst that could happen?

424
00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:26,708
[dramatic music playing]

425
00:19:32,125 --> 00:19:34,125
[music intensifies]

426
00:19:36,416 --> 00:19:38,166
[mystical tone]

427
00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:40,208
["Sandstorm" by Darude playing]

428
00:19:40,291 --> 00:19:41,208
[woman screaming]

429
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:47,250
Whoa.

430
00:19:47,333 --> 00:19:49,833
That's the greatest piñata I've ever seen!

431
00:19:49,916 --> 00:19:51,541
[music continues]

432
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:56,333
-No!
-No!

433
00:19:56,416 --> 00:19:58,375
Stay with me. Stay with me.

434
00:19:58,458 --> 00:20:00,625
Be alive again! Be alive again.

435
00:20:00,708 --> 00:20:02,041
Wait, what?

436
00:20:02,125 --> 00:20:03,000
No!

437
00:20:03,083 --> 00:20:07,541
That unlicensed party pony trespassed
on my property!

438
00:20:07,625 --> 00:20:09,916
Karen, we welcome you with open arms,

439
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:14,416
and in return you poison
slash blow up an innocent pony? Shame!

440
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:16,416
I need to speak to a supervisor.

441
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:20,750
Karen, I’m going to need you
to hand in your badge and gun,

442
00:20:20,833 --> 00:20:25,000
and by "badge and gun"
I mean citation pad and loud whistle.

443
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:27,750
My whistle is how I yell at joggers.

444
00:20:27,833 --> 00:20:29,625
How am I going to--

445
00:20:30,791 --> 00:20:32,416
[crying]

446
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:33,333
Okay.

447
00:20:34,458 --> 00:20:36,458
[crying]

448
00:20:37,916 --> 00:20:39,208
This isn’t over, Greta.

449
00:20:39,291 --> 00:20:41,458
Did Karen give up
when she got kicked out of Walmart

450
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:42,708
for assaulting a greeter?

451
00:20:42,791 --> 00:20:45,500
Or when Burger King got
a restraining order to keep her away

452
00:20:45,583 --> 00:20:47,458
from their managers? No way!

453
00:20:47,541 --> 00:20:48,791
She’ll be back.

454
00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,208
Uh, hey, Karen, wait up.

455
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:54,125
Why don't we go down to Home Depot
and harass the day laborers?

456
00:20:54,208 --> 00:20:56,625
Genius, Greta. H-- How'd you do it?

457
00:20:56,708 --> 00:21:00,250
Well, after analyzing the sugar content
of the unicorn’s lower intestine

458
00:21:00,333 --> 00:21:04,166
and noticing it had a similar make-up
to that of popular mint candy Mentos,

459
00:21:04,250 --> 00:21:07,500
I timed the release of a flood
of a carbonated, aspartame mixture,

460
00:21:07,583 --> 00:21:11,458
or “Diet Coke,” into its system
at exactly the right moment. Then, kaboom.

461
00:21:11,541 --> 00:21:14,458
Hey, just like what happens in my belly.

462
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:17,083
That’s how I got banned from AMC Theaters.

463
00:21:17,166 --> 00:21:19,833
Then all that was left
to do was push the blame onto Karen.

464
00:21:19,916 --> 00:21:22,916
The look on her face,
the shame, the defeat.

465
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,666
-Hey, maybe I do like parties.
-[cheerful tone plays]

466
00:21:29,833 --> 00:21:31,708
It's totaled!

467
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:34,625
But again, to get back
to the whole reason you're down here,

468
00:21:34,708 --> 00:21:36,791
I did bring the family together.

469
00:21:36,875 --> 00:21:40,833
Oh, shut up! We have bigger problems
than your stupid Earth project.

470
00:21:40,916 --> 00:21:43,791
Let's go, Craig. Yo, turn these in for me.

471
00:21:43,875 --> 00:21:47,458
And get good value. Don't be coming back
with any of those troll-doll keychains.

472
00:21:47,541 --> 00:21:50,041
I'm talking black light frisbee or higher.

473
00:21:53,291 --> 00:21:54,208
[Godcat grunting]

474
00:21:54,291 --> 00:21:58,875
Well, I will say there are a lot
of things humans really frigged up.

475
00:21:58,958 --> 00:22:02,625
Murder, taxes, John Krasinski starring
in action movies.

476
00:22:02,708 --> 00:22:04,583
[grunts] I didn’t do any of that.

477
00:22:04,666 --> 00:22:06,791
But they did get one thing right. [grunts]

478
00:22:06,875 --> 00:22:07,833
This game.

479
00:22:07,916 --> 00:22:09,125
[slurping]

480
00:22:09,208 --> 00:22:11,833
And orange soda. Fine, two things.

481
00:22:12,458 --> 00:22:13,333
[grunting]

482
00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:16,708
[sighing] I don't know.
I guess maybe it's not all their fault.

483
00:22:16,791 --> 00:22:20,000
I have been on cruise control
for a few centuries.

484
00:22:20,083 --> 00:22:23,333
Maybe I can help them
if I put in a little more effort.

485
00:22:23,416 --> 00:22:25,250
[machine ringing and chiming]

486
00:22:25,333 --> 00:22:31,208
Hey, I’d be jambalyin’ if I said
I wasn’t having a good time with you.

487
00:22:31,291 --> 00:22:32,333
[laughing]

488
00:22:32,416 --> 00:22:36,208
You know what, Chorgle?
I’d be jambalyin’ too. One more game.

489
00:22:36,291 --> 00:22:37,125
[mouse squeaking]

490
00:22:37,208 --> 00:22:38,916
-[Godcat chuckling]
-[rat laughing]

491
00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:45,958
[all] Aw.

492
00:22:46,041 --> 00:22:50,833
-[chuckling] Hey, bud. What's that for?
-Thanks for today. It was pretty awesome.

493
00:22:50,916 --> 00:22:53,958
Aidan says he's going to be pulling
unicorn guts out of his hair for weeks.

494
00:22:54,041 --> 00:22:56,750
[laughs] Oh. Best piñata ever.

495
00:22:57,750 --> 00:22:59,708
I kinda felt
like no one ever listens to me,

496
00:22:59,791 --> 00:23:03,833
but Godcat took me to Shane & Chugger's,
you guys threw me that awesome party…

497
00:23:03,916 --> 00:23:07,333
Of course we're listening, sweetie.
We love you.

498
00:23:07,416 --> 00:23:11,625
See? It’s not “in one ear,
out the same ear," now is it?

499
00:23:11,708 --> 00:23:14,250
[Travis] Just went in one ear,
and out that same ear.

500
00:23:14,333 --> 00:23:16,708
…out that same ear.
…out that same ear.

501
00:23:16,791 --> 00:23:18,666
…out that same ear.
…out that same ear.

502
00:23:18,750 --> 00:23:20,791
[dramatic music playing]

503
00:23:26,041 --> 00:23:27,250
[music intensifies]

504
00:23:27,333 --> 00:23:28,666
[yelling]

505
00:23:30,333 --> 00:23:32,083
[ominous music playing]

506
00:23:34,708 --> 00:23:36,708
[music intensifies]

507
00:23:37,916 --> 00:23:39,375
[screaming]

508
00:23:40,916 --> 00:23:43,708
Betrayed!

509
00:23:43,791 --> 00:23:45,625
[closing theme music playing]

510
00:24:32,791 --> 00:24:33,666
[music ends]